


Drag Me Into Insanity

by cassiedoughgirl



Category: Free!
Genre: Also a Rin man XD, Alternate Universe - Hospital, Bottom Nanase Haruka, Counseling, Cray Cray Haru, Dom Tachibana Makoto, Fights, Flashbacks, Flirting, Flirty Sousuke, Freak Outs, Insanity, M/M, Mental Instability, Mental Institutions, Morally unsure Makoto, Older Man/Younger Man, One-Sided Matsuoka Rin/Nanase Haruka, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Rin crushing on Haru, Shenanigans, Sousuke is a lady's man, anxiety rei, bipolar nagisa, gay everywhere, multiple personality rin, nurse gou, rape victim - Freeform, schizo haru
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-14
Updated: 2015-08-01
Packaged: 2018-02-21 02:46:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 24,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2451836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cassiedoughgirl/pseuds/cassiedoughgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Would it really be bad to be dragged down into insanity?</p><p>Sousuke, a 28 year old and is in desperation for a job, gets one at Iwatobi Psychiatric Hospital where he meets an interesting group of people. One of which, a certain red head with shark like teeth, catches Sousuke's attention.</p><p>Makoto, the 26 year old who owns the hospital, is having his own issues when feelings start to arouse for one of his patients, and has to make a decision to do what's right both morally and professionally, or let himself fall for the underage patient and risk his job.</p><p>Haruka, 17 years old and having been in mental hospitals for 9 years of his life, is still trying to overcome his insanity.</p><p>Rin starts to feel he's losing himself to his other personalities and starts to doubt who he can trust.</p><p>And Nagisa finds comfort in the newcomer, an anxiety prone Rei.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Walking Into Disaster

**Author's Note:**

> I am debating making a Free! Roleplay group. I already have a friend who has dibs on Makoto and I have dibs on Haru. If anyone is interested in this group and wanting to roleplay a character just comment and let me know! Thank you!

Sousuke had always imagined that his future would hold something more… Interesting and fun, something that would make him happy and excited, bringing him to new twists and turns every day and being able to have the respect and affection from the people around him. He wanted to live up to expectations, be successful, get a hot wife, maybe even a dog, and live in a kick-ass mansion. He definitely didn’t want to get stuck in some dead end job that made him want to snap and cut the throats of all his co-workers before blowing his brains out just so he didn’t have to endure another prolonged shift of complete and utter boredom. Somehow though, Sousuke was never able to figure out what exactly he wanted as a career, he’d admit maybe it had something to do with the constant parties, sex, and alcohol poisoning during college, but still, after college he was left with a practically useless liberal arts degree. Sousuke had known he had to find a job and fast, he hated living at his parents’ house, not only for the constant nagging but because of the fact that he found after a couple hopeless attempts that chicks did not; in fact, enjoy sex in his parents’ basement…. And his parents definitely did not enjoy hearing said intercourse in the basement.

Sousuke started his job search only to find that he didn’t have most of the qualifications most hiring places needed and any job he applied to would never even call him back for an interview. He searched for practically five months before becoming desperate.

Even in his desperation though, Sousuke never expected himself to even think about working for a mental hospital, yet here he was, standing in front of the building labeled ‘Iwatobi Psychiatric hospital’, all dressed up for his interview he scheduled about a week ago. This was the only place he could find that didn’t require a degree for the job; he guessed this place was just as desperate for workers as he was for a job. Not that he was surprised, he doubted many sane people would want to spend their time around mentally ill patients, hell if Sousuke wasn’t desperate he probably wouldn’t have even tried this place.

Sousuke looked over the building, it seemed poorly attended to on the outside, somehow managing to look worse than the other businesses and buildings in Iwatobi. The grass was overgrown, with a couple dirt patches here and there, the bushes were obviously not tended to at all in the past couple years, and there were vines crawling up the brick building. Not to mention paint on it was starting to chip and reveal the brick blocks behind it in a way that did not make this place look nice, though Sousuke guessed it didn’t have to… Not like the insane patients going here would mind sine he doubted they were let outside much. Sousuke let out a long drawn out sigh. _‘Here goes nothing.’_ He thinks to himself as he starts to walk into the dull brick building. Part of him wished he’d immediately get turned down so he didn’t have to work in the terrible conditions around crazy people and take the risk of working in a building that was seemingly falling apart, but another part of him knew that no matter how terrible, gross, and mind splitting this job could possibly be, he needed it.

When Sousuke entered the building he was actually surprised to see how well kept it was on the inside, it was a stark contrast of the outside. The walls were painted a nice calming tan, there were pictures of multiple people hung up, the furniture looked nice and clean, and all over the place looked pretty fancy. _‘This may mean it’s well paying._ ’ Sousuke thinks greedily before he notices the front red head at the front desk. Sousuke walked up to the desk where a quite attractive nurse sat. He leaned against the desk and cleared his throat, giving his most charming smile when she looked to him, it was practically instinct now after all the flirting he had done, almost all thoughts about the interview leaving his mind for a moment.

“Hello there.” Sousuke says and the girl blinks, her red hair which was in a ponytail swayed a bit as she looked up to him. Sousuke could’ve sworn he saw her eyes travel to his muscular arms, which were being shown off by the short sleeve button up he was wearing.

“Hi, may I help you with something?” She asks politely and Sousuke pauses at first, wondering what he came there for again before sighing, remembering the reason he came was _not_ to flirt with the nurse.

“Yeah… I’m here for a job interview.” The nurse seemed to perk up at this and quickly got up, grabbing some paperwork. Sousuke takes the time to look her over. She had pale skin, pink, sparkling eyes, and wore a white nurse’s dress that went up to her knees and had a name tag on that read ‘Matsuoka Gou’.

“Oh yes, Yamazaki Sousuke right?” She asks. Sousuke just nods in response as he watched her walk around the desk with a cheerful smile.

“Alright, let me bring you to my boss’ office.” Gou says and starts to lead Sousuke off. The two walked down a long hallway which led to a staircase, they went by multiple empty rooms on the way there and Sousuke wondered what they were for. Only a couple rooms were actually occupied, they looked like bedrooms, all personalized different ways. Sousuke was sure it couldn’t be the patients’ rooms though since there were no patients here and the rooms weren’t watched over. The two went up the staircase, there was a closed door to the left and in front of them was a door that was heavily locked and secured. Sousuke could only guess that behind that door was where the patients stayed.

Gou opened the door to the left and walked inside, motioning for Sousuke to follow. When he entered and looked around he realized the green, earth tone room was the office, there were multiple book cases, most of them held psychiatry and medical books, a couch rested on one side of the room, most likely where the patients sat or laid when they had a therapy session, and then in the middle was a large desk. A young man was there, asleep at the desk, he had messy olive hair and tanned skin, wearing a white button up shirt with his sleeves rolled up, a loose green tie, and brown pants. He had on glasses right now that were half on his face, which was just resting in between the pages of a book. On the desk were multiple different stacks of paper and folders, all had different names written messily on them. Gou makes a small squeak and quickly goes over to the desk. She shakes the man lightly.

“Makoto” She says a bit harshly as she shakes him. The man shifts a bit as he starts to wake up. He lifts his head up and blinks, taking off his glasses and making a small chuckle as he sits up straight. And _damn_ he wasn’t bad looking.

“Were you up all night with your patient again?” Gou asks almost in a scolding way. Makoto just rubs the back of his neck and chuckles still.

“Sorry Kou, I guess I shouldn’t keep doing these all-nighters with him should I?” He asks. Sousuke rolled his eyes as his presence was undetected by the young man; he just listened despite not really knowing what they were talking about. He guessed that this man was probably just an assistant. He looked too young to be the owner. Too young and too happy, he doubted someone this cheerful ran the depressing lot of crazy people, it would just take too much of a toll on them.

“Makoto, Sosuke is here for the interview.” Sousuke could hear Gou say quietly to the man. Makoto blinked and looked over at Sousuke before looking back over to Gou as he fixed up his shirt and hair.

“Oh, thank you… Um you can go back to the desk; I can take it from here.” Makoto says, the kindness never leaving his voice, and Gou just nods before walking out and closing the door behind her.

“Thanks Gou.” Sousuke says, being polite so _if_ he does end up working here he could have maybe get a hook up. The nurse quickly turns around and glares at Sousuke with her pink eyes.

“It’s Kou!” The nurse says with a huff before she walks out. Sousuke watched as she left, maybe or maybe not checking out her ass, even if he couldn’t get with her he could still look. He then turned back to Makoto who was now standing up. He was a lot taller than he seemed at first… Actually just as tall as Sousuke, but he still didn’t seem too old. Makoto gave a warm smile and held out his hand.

“I’m sorry about all that, I’ve been having late night therapy sessions with one of my patients, he hasn’t been able to sleep much lately… Enough about that though, I’m Dr. Tachibana Makoto.” He says with a warm laugh and Sousuke blinks.

“You don’t have to apologize, but wait… You’re a doctor?” He asks to which Makoto just blinks.

“Well, yeah, I have to be in order to run this place.”

“I didn’t think you were the owner!” Sousuke accidently spits out and immediately regrets it. _‘Great, haven’t even started the interview and I disrespected the boss.’_ Sousuke mentally curses himself but pauses when he just hears laughter from the other man.

“I actually get that more often than you’d think.” Makoto says and Sousuke just can’t help but asking.

“How old are you?” Makoto really must’ve been asked this a bunch, he seemed used to this question and didn’t look offended at all by the disbelief in Sousuke’s voice. Sousuke probably should be thankful for the kindness, any other boss and he’d already have been kicked out.

“I’m twenty six.” Makoto says and Sousuke’s eyes widen.

“You’re younger than me…!” He says, he was twenty eight years old. He didn’t really expect the interview to end up like this, being shown up by a twenty six year old. Sousuke had done nothing and this guy had already got his doctorate and owned his own hospital. Makoto just laughs a bit and Sousuke finally comes to his senses and bows down to apologize for this whole misunderstanding, hoping that way he’d at least have a chance for this job.

“I’m sorry Doctor Tachibana.” He says and Makoto’s laughter dies down.

“Hey don’t worry about it, and you can just call me Makoto it’s fine.” Makoto says warmly and goes back to his desk. He motioned for Sousuke to sit down in one of the seats in front of the desk. Once Sousuke does Makoto’s face turns serious as he looks through his computer.

“So your resume says that you don’t have any other job experience.” Makoto says and Sousuke shifts a bit in his seat.

“No, I haven’t… Will that be an issue…?” He asks a bit nervously. He wasn’t really used to interviews and didn’t know what he should expect.

“I don’t think it will… Just this is going to be a pretty difficult first job for you….” Makoto replies as he seems to be thinking to himself.

“What exactly would I be doing?” Sousuke asks since the online application didn’t really say much on what possible positions he could have here.

“You’d be helping out some of the other workers with the patients, cleaning, helping the kitchen, and helping me with therapy sessions when I need you to… You’d basically just be trying to make sure everything’s alright and in order.” Makoto tells him and Sousuke makes a tiny nod, hoping his face doesn’t look too overwhelmed. It wasn’t as bad as it could be… But still this seemed like a lot of work and hearing the list of things he’d be doing just made him feel even lazier.

“Let me warn you though, working at a place like this isn’t for everyone… You have to be able to understand the patients, be understanding, control yourself, and be able to know when to be gentle or stern.” Makoto says and watches Sousuke’s reaction. Sousuke didn’t flinch at that; he already knew most of what was said were things he’d have to come to terms with when he applied. Sure, he’d have to work at it a bit, but he would be able to deal with all of that.

“Alright… I think I know how we’re going to find out of this job is right for you.” Makoto says, a warm smile grazing his lips again. Sousuke felt like it was almost contagious. Makoto seemed like the type who just always had a warm glow about him. The olive haired man got up from his seat and got a key card out, Sousuke just watched in silence unsure what he should say.

“So I’m going to bring you on a tour around the patient’s quarters, you’ll get to meet them and see how things work here, then if you really want to you can work here.” Sousuke blinks, a bit of doubt running through his mind as he stood up.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” He asks, part of him really didn’t want his afternoon to be spent with crazies. Makoto goes to leave his room and gives Sousuke a reassuring smile.

“Yeah, you should know what it’s like around here before you accept the job. Really, don’t worry about it; they usually don’t cause a lot of trouble. But if you still want this job after the tour and hearing how things work then I’ll be happy to give it to you.” Makoto says and leaves the room. Sousuke follows close behind, not really wanting to be alone here.

“I hate that we have to lock the door this much… The patients here really are pretty well behaved… These locks just make them feel like they’re trapped and unwelcome, but protocol makes us do this.” Makoto says filling up the silence as he stood in front of the locked door leading to the patient ward. Sousuke could already tell this guy was talkative, but didn’t mind it too much; Makoto seemed easy to talk to.

“Is there anything I should know before we go in there?” Sousuke asks his facial expression a bit nervous.

“Just, try not to be so nervous around them. If the patients see you scared then they won’t ever trust you.” Makoto says as he swipes the card and unlocks the door. Sousuke just makes a small nod and sighs. _‘Wow, wait to be a tough guy… Why am I even so scared anyways? They won’t be that bad… I just need to suck it up and be a man. These patients can’t do anything to me!’_ Sousuke thinks to himself. When they enter Sousuke looks around, the walls were still painted tan though there were no pictures, probably so there weren’t any issues with glass. The room they were in was the common area, there was a couch and a couple chairs in front of a TV, chess tables were on the other side of the room with a shelf of other games, and book shelves stood against the wall. It seemed the patients had multiple different things to keep them entertained. Makoto walks over to a small desk where a silver haired man sat; he had a cart with medication by him.

“Sousuke, this is Aiichiro. He handles all the patients’ medicine here.” Makoto says and turns to Aiichiro, the silver haired boy shifted a bit, seeming a bit shy with the presence of Sousuke. The boy looked to Makoto then back to his files, practically ignoring Sousuke now, though it seemed more from shyness than being mean.

“Haruka was sitting out here by the door for a while… It looked like he was waiting for you…” Aiichiro says quietly to Makoto, Sousuke could tell he was soft spoken. Makoto rubs the back of his neck.

“I thought he was asleep…” Makoto says with a tiny sigh. Sousuke just stayed quiet as he listened to the two, he guessed they were talking about a patient.

“He woke up a couple hours… He keeps saying his medicine doesn’t let him sleep long…” Aiichiro responds fidgeting a bit. Makoto runs a hand through his hair.

“Alright, we’ll have to switch his medicine later… I’m giving Sousuke a tour so I’ll go check on Haru on the way… Do you know where he went?” Sousuke wasn’t sure if he should be looking forward to being taken to this seemingly troublesome patient, but didn’t speak his mind, knowing if he did so he wouldn’t get this job.

“He just went to his room a couple minutes ago… I um… I actually think he heard Kou-Chan bring Sousuke-Chan to your office and he… didn’t seem pleased…” Aiichiro says nervously. Sousuke tenses slightly and blinks when Makoto just chuckles. _‘How is this funny?!’_ Sousuke thought crossly.

“That sounds like Haru. Maybe I shouldn’t have Sousuke meet him yet...” Makoto says trailing off and then shrugs.

“I’ll see what Haruka’s attitude is like later. I better get on with the tour though; I don’t want to keep boring Sousuke. I’ll see you later Ai.” Makoto says turning to Sousuke who blinks and stands up straighter, he had zoned out a bit during the conversation. Makoto smiles then motions for Sousuke to follow him as he walks into the common area and looks around.

“We don’t have many patients here… We actually are getting our fourth tomorrow… But it allows us to give more attention to them and their needs. Each patient here has a worker to look after them too. I mean, we all look after the patients but the patients become closer to some workers, so that worker usually is in charge of making sure they feel alright. For example, I’m in charge of the patient, Haruka, you’ve been hearing about most of the morning. Haruka is one of the more picky patients though… I’m one of the only ones he really puts up with…” Makoto says and laughs, rubbing the back of his neck.

“So wait will I be in charge of a patient?” Sousuke asks with a bit of doubt. He wasn’t sure if he could take care of a patient and be responsible for them just yet. Or ever actually. He knew he wasn’t that responsible.

“No, definitely not at first at least, only if a patient starts to show more attachment and improvement around you.” Makoto says and then perks up when he sees someone sit up at the couch in the common area. He walks over to where a blonde teenager sat. He was wearing a pink t-shirt on with a penguin on and shorts.

“Hello Nagisa how’s your show?” Makoto asks warmly. Nagisa doesn’t say anything, and instead he leans up against the couch and gives a wide smile and then laughs.

“I’ll take that as it’s good.” Makoto says and laughs before turning back to Sousuke.

“Nagisa has bipolar disorder as well as Kleine- Levin Syndrome. Sometimes he has ‘episodes’ where he basically gets really moody, sleeps and eats a bunch, and acts kind of like a child… Kou watches over him most of the time though.” Makoto says, Nagisa pouts and leans over the couch.

"I don’t act like a child!” He says his voice chipper though. Makoto just laughs.

"If you say so, Nagisa.” The olive haired man ruffles Nagisa’s wavy blonde hair as he just pouts.

"I’m nooooot.” Nagisa whines knowing that Makoto was teasing him. Sousuke was a bit surprised, he expected something different… He expected Nagisa to act crazier, not like a hyperactive teen.

“Say that to all the stuffed animals in your room.” A voice says and they all look over. Sousuke practically froze seeing the patient, he had red hair and pink eyes like Kou’s, he was muscular and lean, he had a handsome face and something about how he looked just took Sousuke’s breath away. The man walked closer and Sousuke had to force himself to look away from the captivating man, the last thing he wanted to do was come off as creepy.

“Rinrin, you’re so meeaaan.” Nagisa whines. Sousuke blinks, making mental note of the man’s name.

“Don’t call me that.” The red head says with a huff, Sousuke noticed the sharp teeth he had; it reminded Sousuke of a shark. Nagisa just pouted and the red head’s eyes wandered over to Makoto and Sousuke. Makoto perked up noticing the man’s questioning gaze.

“Oh um, this is Sousuke.” Makoto introduces. The man looked to Sousuke, and for a moment Sousuke wondered if he was being checked out or sized up.

“He’s the one getting a job here?” The red headed man asks. Makoto rubs the back of his neck.

“Well maybe, if he wants to after the tour.” The olive haired man said. The man nods and holds out his hand to Sousuke.

“I’m Rin… And ‘cause I know that you’ll find out even if I don’t tell you, there’s no point in hiding it. I have multiple personality disorder.” Rin says and Sousuke blinks, he seemed so normal now; it’s weird to think that they were mentally unstable. Sousuke notices Rin’s hand still out and quickly goes to shake it so he didn’t offend Rin. _His hand was soft._ Sousuke made a mental note of that.

“Oh well um… Hi.” Sousuke said and Rin let go of his hand, way too early in Sousuke’s opinion. The two just fell into silence a moment, practically ignoring Makoto and Nagisa as they just looked at each other, but then Makoto spoke up.

“Come on, I should show you the rest of the building.” Makoto says to Sousuke, who blinks, snapping out of the daze, and then makes a small nod. Makoto gives a small wave to Rin and Nagisa before leading Sousuke off and into a hallway.

“Aiichiro has been trying to care for Rin… But he can’t really handle it all that much anymore… His condition has been fine just Rin himself has gotten more difficult…” Makoto says and Sousuke blinks.

“He seemed fine earlier… Actually him and Nagisa both seemed pretty normal.” Makoto sighs and rubs the back of his neck.

“Yeah, they seem that way most of the time… but there will be triggers that just set them off… And sometimes they’ll be stuck just not being themselves for months…” The olive haired man said, for the first time not seeming cheerful and happy. _‘He seems to really care about his patients…’_ After a couple moments Makoto turns back to his cheerful self.

“I mean, it doesn’t stop me from wanting to help them.” Makoto says and Sousuke only nods. He looks around to where Makoto led him and sees different rooms and a couple bathrooms. One room was pink and inside had different stuffed animals, assuming what Rin said before was right, Sousuke guessed it was Nagisa’s room. Another room had red walls and some exercise equipment, Sousuke wasn’t sure if this belonged to Rin or not. There was another room with the door closed so he couldn’t see in it, though he was guessing this belonged to the popular Haruka who was seemingly the topic of the day in the psychiatric ward. The last room was empty, with plain walls and just a bed in it.

"We let our patients have the option to design their room however they want… It makes them happy and it’s easier for them to live here. We also give this option to all the staff with their rooms.” Makoto says snapping Sousuke out of his thoughts.

“Wait, staff rooms?” Sousuke asks raising a brow. _‘Were those the rooms I saw on the way up here?’_

“Oh, yeah, I should’ve mentioned that earlier… All the staff lives here… It’s just easier so that when needed, they can help with any issues going on. They’re right downstairs; you probably went by them with Kou.” Makoto says. Sousuke blinks.

“You’re offering me a job and a place to stay??” Sousuke asks. _‘Could this deal get any better??’_ He asks himself, a smile grazing his lips. Makoto laughs.

“Well you’re making it sound like this is a dream job or something…” He says letting his laughter die down.

“Compared to living in your parents’ basement with no job, this is a dream job.” Sousuke just replies.

“True… Come on, I still have to show you the cafeteria.” Makoto says and leads Sousuke up another flight of stairs. When they got up Sousuke was surprised to see a nice dining area and a large kitchen.

“Can this place get any better?” Sousuke asks and Makoto rubs the back of his neck.

“I don’t think it can… but it’s not that great… I mean, considering what we deal with here…” Makoto says but Sousuke just shakes his head. He was just diving right in, not thinking twice about this deal.

“A job that’s high paying and gives me a place to live, how can I say no?” Sousuke asks. Makoto blinks and rubs the back of his neck.

“I think you should meet Haruka before you make your decision.” He says causing Sousuke to pause. _‘Is Haruka that bad?’_

“What does he have?” Sousuke asks as he follows Makoto downstairs and back to the common area.

“Schizophrenia…” Makoto says with a sigh. Sousuke notices that the door that had previously been closed was open now and he could make out blue walls, he wondered if that was Haruka’s room. It would make sense. Makoto stopped and Sousuke looked to him a moment. The olive haired man had his calm green eyes fixated on something, when Sousuke looked to see what it was he learned it was actually someone. He was sitting down in the window sill with a sketchbook in hand, raven hair was swept across his pale face and Sousuke could see he had ocean blue eyes. He wore a blue sweatshirt and tan capris. Sousuke could only guess this was Haruka. He was practically frozen in place though, when the ocean blue eyes looked over at the two and gave an icy glare.

“Haru…” Makoto says but Haruka seems to ignore him, getting up with his sketchbook and going to walk by the two. _‘What the hell is the nerve with this guy?! He won’t even give me a fucking chance!’_ Sousuke lets out an angry huff and turns around going to grab Haruka’s wrist.

“Wait..!” Makoto starts off but it was too late, Sousuke grabbed Haruka’s wrist, causing the raven haired teen to freeze in place.

“Hey, what’s the issue here? I know I’m new but-“ Sousuke was cut off when a fist met his face causing him to stumble back. Haruka had punched Sousuke and now was backing up away from him shaking. Anger boiled in Sousuke but he tried not to react, knowing it would jeopardize his chance at the job… It didn’t mean he couldn’t imagine strangling this kid in his head.

“Haru, are you okay??” Makoto asks as he goes over to the raven haired teen and hugged him. Sousuke sits up and blinks. _‘What the fuck?! Is he okay? He hit me; you should be asking if I’m okay!’_ Sousuke was about to snap before a hand was placed on his shoulder. Sousuke looked up to see Rin looking down at him.

“Haruka doesn’t like to be touched… He gets violent when he is…” Rin says and Sousuke looks back to Makoto who was worrying over Haruka still.

“He doesn’t mind Makoto though…” Sousuke mumbles, causing Rin to let out a sigh, it sounded a bit sad.

“Makoto’s different; he always has been for Haruka…” Rin says looking away. Sousuke huffs.

“But Haruka hit me, why’s Makoto helping him??” Rin rolls his eyes at this question.

“Makoto’s a selfless person, he worries about everyone, but he always puts us patients first. He believes Haruka is as much of a victim as you.” The red head says and then helps Sousuke up. Sousuke once again was able to feel the spark as he held Rin’s soft hand. Makoto looks over to the two after a moment, he didn’t seem to have been listening to their conversation, only have been paying attention to Haruka.

“Rin, can you bring Sousuke to the medical room and get him some ice for where he was hit? I’ll be with you guys in a moment…” Makoto says and after Rin nods he starts to bring Haruka to his room.

“Follow me…” Rin says as he leads Sousuke off. Sousuke just was paying attention to the fact they were still holding hands. When they walked into a white room Rin lets go and starts looking through cabinets. Sousuke just sits down, feeling a bit dizzy. _‘For such a wimpy looking kid he sure packed a punch…’_ Sousuke is snapped out of his thoughts when a cloth holding ice was pressed to his eye where he was punched. He let out a soft sigh at the relief he felt with that.

“Must suck for Makoto, being stuck taking care of Haruka…” Sousuke says trying to start a conversation. Rin leans against the wall and sighs.

"No, he’s happy about it… Makoto cares a lot about Haruka; they’ve known each other for a while.” Rin says, Sousuke realizes that Rin didn’t seem too happy to talk about this so he just decided to drop it. Makoto came into the room after a bit, with an apologetic look on his face.

“I’m sorry about that… I should’ve told you that Haruka can’t be touched…” Makoto says and then sighs.

“I guess you won’t want to work here now, huh…?” The olive haired man asks. Sousuke blinks a bit unsure at first what to say. He could feel Rin staring at him right now, and when Sousuke looked Rin’s pink eyes were practically asking _‘What are you going to do?’_

Sousuke was pissed about what Haruka did, sure. He knew he had no experience with mental patients or working at a place like this, and he wasn’t the most responsible… But still, he knew that if he worked here he would be taught what to do. He could learn what to do. Hell, this job paid well and supplied a place to live, and there were some pretty attractive people here… Sousuke knew that despite any conflict, he couldn’t say no to this opportunity.

“I’ll do it… I’ll work here.”


	2. Thought Provoking Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto has one of his midnight therapy sessions with Haruka and ends up having an embarrassing day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Light smut... It was my first time writing it... EVER... So it's not too great or detailed, it was really awkward for me to write XD Sorry if it sucks

Makoto yawned as he left his office and unlocked the door to the patient ward; he was running on a solid three hours of sleep for the last thirty six hours and was now just trying his best not to crash. He had been working all day and still had a long list of things to do ranging from going through bills to having his midnight session with Haruka and make sure he was okay after the most recent addition to the staff came.

  
Makoto wasn’t angry with Haruka for how he acted when Sousuke came, he knew Haruka wasn’t too happy with new things and he also knew that Haruka hated to be touched by most people. Luckily after all the time they knew each other, Makoto became an exception to that. In hind sight thought, Makoto knew he was to blame and should’ve told Sousuke beforehand about Haruka’s issues. He had mentioned to Sousuke that all the patients had certain triggers that set them off, but never told him what they were, and being touched was one of Haruka’s.

  
Makoto didn’t know exactly why Haruka got triggered by this, he knew Nagisa got triggered by yelling or being startled, and Rin got triggered by pressure, anger, or bad news, but he was still trying to figure out what exactly got Haruka to become mentally unstable and spend half his life in a mental hospital. All he could piece together with Haruka was that he witnessed his parents getting killed, everything else was a blurred memory to the raven haired teen and left Makoto with many questions. Sure, such a traumatizing event could bring in the early stages of schizophrenia, and then being surrounded by mentally unstable people as such a young kid could contribute to that, but it didn’t explain the magnitude of Haruka’s instability, his lack of trust, or his sensitivity to touch.

  
Makoto was snapped out of his thoughts by the beeping of the door, signifying it was unlocked and echoing against the white walls. It was almost too loud in the silent building. Everyone was asleep at this time of night, everyone except Haruka. Makoto knew the raven haired teen rarely slept at this time and wanted to have a midnight session with Makoto. The olive haired man entered the patient ward and closed the door behind himself. He hoped he hadn’t woken anyone up with the beeping door.

  
Makoto looked out the window to see the crescent moon shining down at him; the night sky left a blue hue in the room. Makoto was about to go to Haruka’s room when he noticed the T.V. on, playing a late night cartoon with colors all too bright in the dark of night. Makoto walked over to turn it off only to find a sleeping Nagisa on the couch. Makoto made a quiet chuckle. _‘Again Nagisa?’_ He thought playfully. He grabbed a blanket and draped it over Nagisa before turning off the T.V.

  
After this Makoto walked over to Haruka’s room, quietly opening the door. He looks in to see Haruka lying down on his bed, head propped behind pillows and his arms crossed as he stares at the ceiling. He wore a blue t-shirt and black shorts.

  
“Hi Haru.” Makoto says cheerfully. Haruka looks over to him with his ocean blue eyes. He doesn’t say anything but the way his eyes visibly lighten let Makoto know he’s allowed to come inside and talk to Haruka. Makoto walked in and sat down on the edge of Haruka’s bed.

  
“You look tired…” Haruka states his observation as he sits up; looking over Makoto’s disheveled appearance.

  
“Don’t worry Haru, I’m fine.” Makoto says and suppresses a small yawn. Haruka sees though it though and shakes his head, the two knew each other long enough to not be able to see through each other’s lies.

  
“You should sleep.” Haruka mutters, Makoto smiled a bit, both because Haruka was showing he cared about him and because he wanted Haruka to know he was fine.

  
“You should sleep too, and I’m not going to leave you awake all night.” Makoto says, usually the night sessions consisted of Makoto talking to Haruka until the raven haired teen became so tired that he fell asleep. Haruka lets out a sigh, obviously not happy with that answer, but instead of saying anything he looks to Makoto. The look in his eyes prompting Makoto to start his therapy session and ask questions.

  
“How have you been?” Makoto asks first, he seemed to have a bit of worry in his tone. Haruka rolls his eyes.

“What do you think?” He asks and Makoto rubs the back of his neck with a chuckle.

  
“Yeah, I should’ve already known, is it Sousuke or just the normal problems?” Makoto asks, he knew Haruka hated hearing or talking about his problems but at this time of night the raven haired teen is usually too tired to care, he also didn’t really seem to get angry when Makoto asked. The two were open with each other and Haruka learned he could trust Makoto after a couple years.

“Both.” Haruka mutters as he leans back against his pillows again, staring a bit at the ceiling.

“Why does Sousuke bother you so much?” Makoto asks. Sousuke had just started a couple weeks ago and seemed fine; he was a good worker and didn’t seem to be mean or doing anything wrong. For some reason Haruka seemed to hate him even before he met him.

“A new person can ruin everything here.” Haruka says flatly. Makoto blinks and frowns and Haruka’s pessimistic attitude.

“Why don’t you trust anyone…?” The olive haired man asks quietly, trying to hide any signs of sadness since he knew it would bother Haruka, but not being able to hide the worry.

“I trust you…” Haruka mumbles, Makoto wished that was true though he knew it wasn’t. Haruka didn’t’ trust anyone, and Makoto was still trying to figure out why. None of their sessions had revealed anything about what had traumatized Haruka so much that he stopped trusting everyone and wouldn’t let most people touch him, not to mention how it triggered him to act out with the schizophrenia.

“Haru, you still hide a lot from me…” Makoto says, it actually pained him a bit. He knew Haruka was his patient, but after all the time they knew each other Makoto felt like they were more, like they were friends that _should_ trust each other. Heck, Makoto would admit Haruka was basically his best friend, they talked to each other every day and any feeling of professionalism between the two had evaporated over the years. Makoto knew Haruka was close to him, he could easily even say Haruka was attached to him, over the years of being together they started to depend on each other for company and comfort. Though the friendship of give and take was mostly taking on Haruka’s side, Makoto didn’t mind. He enjoyed being around Haruka and knew helping him was part of his job, but even still the fact Haruka wasn’t open bothered Makoto. Despite knowing that many people like Haruka will only reveal parts of their life when they’re comfortable and wanting to share it, Makoto couldn’t help being a bit upset and not feeling trusted. He knew not to pressure Haruka though; it would only make the raven haired teen revert further into himself.

“You’re the person I trust most…” Haruka mumbles and Makoto frowns slightly realizing once again he was the only one there for Haruka. He sighs, deciding he should just be glad with the progress they have so far and not be upset about what Haruka hasn’t done yet.

“Thank you for that…” Makoto says and Haruka makes a small nod in response, he still lay in bed and didn’t look over. Makoto put a hand on Haruka’s shoulder and gave a gentle smile. Haruka looked up to him and visibly seemed to relax a bit. Makoto had to hold back a yawn just so Haruka wouldn’t insist he slept, part of him honestly wanted to lay down with Haruka and let the comfort of sleep wash over him, but he knew he had a job to do and that would be unprofessional.

“So have you been having problems lately?” Makoto asks, changing the subject. Haruka sighs and rolls his eyes.

“By problems you mean if I’ve been seeing things and hearing voices more, I’m guessing… And it’s the same as it’s always been.” The stoic voice said, void of emotion. Makoto sighed at this, Haruka was bitter about his lack of improvement. Makoto believed that the combination of guilt for not being able to do anything about his parents death and the confusion for the blank spot in his memory where he had no clue what happed to him was what was holding him back from improvement so much and causing his frustration. Makoto desperately wanted to help Haruka but wasn’t sure how to, everything he had tried before never seemed to work.

  
“Is the water still calling you?” Makoto asks. The raven hair teen had told Makoto that voices from the water were always calling him a couple years back. Hearing that from his best friend, who was young at the time, was disturbing and saddening. Makoto wanted Haruka to improve, to be free of insanity, after everything he went through he deserved it. Makoto hated whoever hurt Haruka like this, whoever killed Haruka’s parents and sent Haruka spiraling into mental instability and left him in psychiatric hospitals for most of his life. Makoto looked at Haruka and tried to keep a frown from forming, Haruka was staring at Makoto knowing exactly what Makoto had been thinking.

“You’re worrying too much about me.” Haruka mumbles looking away from Makoto.

“It’s my job to worry about you…” Makoto says and Haruka rolls his eyes lying down.

“Well I’m going to bed… You should too.” He says looking at Makoto. The olive haired doctor made a small nod and watched as Haruka closed his eyes and got comfortable. Makoto made a small smile as the raven haired teen started to fall asleep, he felt a warm glow in his chest as Haruka looked so peaceful. Makoto made a small yawn, he was starting to feel his own exhaustion kick in. He closed his eyes; maybe he could just rest a few moments…

 

 

Makoto opened his eyes finding himself in the chair of his office, he blinked a couple times wondering how he got here but just guessed he walked over when he was half asleep. Makoto ran a hair through his hair and gave his cheeks a couple light slaps to wake himself up and went to work on a pile of paper work on his desk.

The clock ticked on and on as Makoto did his paper work, it was hard not to fall asleep from the boring task and lack of rest but he managed. Just when his eyes were half lidded and he felt himself starting to drift into the resting state of consciousness but was quickly snapped out of it when he heard his clock chime three times. He rubbed his face with a sigh and got up, knowing that he should check on all the patients before they get so irritated they attack each other. Makoto left his room and then walked into the patient ward, looking around. Nagisa was playing on a DS he was given by his family the last time they visited while Rin and Haruka sat on the couch, Rin watching T.V. and Haruka drawing.

Makoto was about to walk over to Haruka and Rin, knowing not to bother Nagisa while he was playing a game because he’d get upset and try to prank Makoto later in retaliation, but then noticed Rin’s arm around the back of the couch, almost around Haruka. The olive haired doctor blinked and his eyes narrowed, something just didn’t seem right with this. He didn’t know why but seeing Rin’s arm practically around Haruka just rubbed him the wrong way, he didn’t want to see the two like that.

“Haruka can I see you in my office?” Makoto asked, the words leaving his mouth with practically no thought at all, surprising even himself. Haruka blinks and looks over seeming a bit shocked that he was there but nods and gets up.

_Thump. Thump._

Makoto’s heart pounded in his chest for whatever reason as he led Haruka to his office. He didn’t even know what he would say when they got there; he just wanted to get Haruka away from Rin. The thought crossed his mind that maybe he was jealous, but he quickly pushed it away. There would be no reason for that. Makoto opened the door to his office.

_Thump. Thump._

After Haruka got in the room Makoto followed and looked to the raven haired teen. Green eyes met blue, curious ones, and Makoto couldn’t help but feel a warm glow form in his chest. Something seemed to change in that moment though, the warm glow was different than how he usually felt around Haruka and now he felt something a lot more… dangerous. This new feeling of complete desire took over him and thoughts started to swell through his mind, ones that he really shouldn’t have for his patient.

_‘He looks so cute.’_

_‘I wonder what his lips feel like…’_

_‘They look soft…’_

_‘I want to just kiss him all over…’_

Makoto had to force his thoughts to stop there before he couldn’t stop thinking about dominating Haruka. He was his patient, it was unprofessional. Haruka was still looking up at Makoto, his eyes asking the question of what he was doing and why he wanted to see Haruka in his office. The olive haired doctor wanted to answer, but couldn’t, his mouth had gone dry and he had no clue what to say, he didn’t even know why he had called Haruka in here. Makoto’s eyes were just focused on Haruka’s lips, he wasn’t sure if he was getting closer of if it was just his imagination. It wasn’t until lips met his that he had realized Haruka had met him half way into a kiss. Makoto’s cheeks turned red and his heart beat sped up but he wrapped his arms around Haruka’s slim waist and leaned into the kiss with half lidded eyes. Professional or not, any thoughts of work were quickly erased from his mind, he was just fixated on the feel of Haruka’s soft lips moving against his own.

Makoto slipped his tongue into Haruka’s mouth, he felt Haruka’s arms wrap around his shoulder and he knew that there was no doubt the raven haired teen was blushing even more. Makoto let his tongue explore Haruka’s mouth and had to hold back a moan as Haruka’s tongue started to move against his own, dancing around each other. Makoto slammed Haruka against the wall, earning a gasp from the raven haired teen. Makoto moved his hands lower, cupping Haruka’s butt and raising him up a bit against the wall as the raven haired teen wrapped his legs around him. The two separated from the kiss a moment and Makoto grazed kisses down Haruka’s neck and collarbone, Haruka took in a sharp breath and Makoto felt himself getting harder in the lower region. Makoto blushed more and felt a little self-conscious until he felt Haruka’s hard member against him as well. All insecurities seemed to disappear from Makoto and all that was on his mind was the fact that they had far too many clothes on right now. The olive haired doctor ran one hand under Haruka’s shirt while the other held him up still; he left a couple hickeys on Haruka’s neck, part of him wanting to make a mark on the raven haired teen so it was known that he was Makoto’s only.

“Mmm...Makoto…” Haruka mumbles only turning the olive haired teen on more. He was quick to remove Haruka’s shirt and was already starting to work on his pants after. He could see Haruka blushing but his blue eyes were filled with a lust that sent Makoto into a possessive craze. He wanted to make Haruka his and only his. Makoto unbuttoned Haruka’s pants and slid them down, Haruka blushed more as Makoto did so and after gave him a couple pecks.

“How come I’m the only one being undressed…?” Haruka asks and Makoto can’t help but chuckle.

“Maybe because you haven’t tried to undress me.” He says and Haruka rolls his eyes slightly.

“Well… Let’s bring this over to your couch first then…” The raven haired teen purred and Makoto eagerly did so, he made sure he gently put Haruka down before climbing over him, all too eager to make love with the teen he knew for years and deemed as his best friend. Haruka played with Makoto’s shirt a bit before taking it off. Makoto felt Haruka’s eyes look over him as his hands traveled across Makoto’s chest and to the muscles of his back, Makoto took the time to look over Haruka, he was smaller but muscular, his ivory skin glowed in the light that was being let into the room through one of the windows and his face was dusted red with blush. The raven haired teen slid his hands down to the button of his pants, Makoto let out a small hiss as Haruka got close to his hard member. Haruka unbuttoned the pants and went to slide them off, watching Makoto’s face for any reaction. Makoto moved his hand up Haruka’s thigh and blushed as Haruka bucked his hips forward a bit.

“Makoto…” Was the small unexpected whine that came from the raven haired teen. If Makoto hadn’t been confident they were the only two in the room he would’ve thought someone else had said it since it was so un-Haru-like. Makoto looked down at the raven haired teen who’s face just read ‘get it on with’ and blushed. He took the hint and took off Haruka’s boxers, looking down at him for a moment.

The feeling of possessiveness quickly took over Makoto and he leaned down, trailing kisses down Haruka’s chest and to his stomach. Haruka took in shaky breaths and held onto Makoto tighter as he got closer to his excited member. Makoto leans up and gives Haruka’s ear a gentle bite earning a gasp from the teen.

“Someone seems eager…” The olive haired doctor whispers. He felt Haruka’s hands pulling down his boxers and blushed a bit. He could feel Haruka looking at his twitching member and though it sent embarrassment coursing through him, it also made him want to be closer to Haruka. Makoto put a hand on Haruka’s cheek and got his attention again, he leaned in and kissed Haruka passionately letting their tongues intertwine again. Haruka went to move his arms back around Makoto’s shoulders but Makoto grabbed Haruka’s hands and pinned them down. He wanted to be in complete control of this right now; Haruka seemed to get the message as he didn’t try to move his wrists away.

Haruka moved his hips against Makoto’s, making the olive haired doctor moan, he felt like he couldn’t take it anymore as his member rubbed against Haruka’s, the raven haired teen made it obvious he was getting impatient too. He pulled away from the kiss, breathing a bit heavily and lifted Haruka up a bit to get a better position. He didn’t care if it would hurt more for Haruka at the moment; he just wanted to see him as they did this. The raven haired teen was blushing but that look of lust never left his face. Makoto slid his member into Haruka and the two both let out a shaky breath. He had no clue whether or not Haruka was experienced with this but this wasn’t on his mind right now, the only thing running through his head was how good this felt. He moved further into Haruka, feeling as if he was being pulled in as his member was surrounded by warmth, and earning a sharp gasp from the raven haired teen. As he moves in and out of Haruka, his mind is blurred with moans, pleasure, and screams of ecstasy.

The screams became less of pleasure as time went on and it wasn’t long before Makoto jolted up awake in bed to yelling in another room. He blinks and rubs his eyes, taking in his surroundings. His eyes were unfocused and all he knew in his half asleep state was that he wasn’t in his own office and was hugging a pillow.

_‘It…was just a dream…’_

Makoto’s cheeks grow bright red as he realized he just had _that_ type of dream, something he hadn’t done in years. He shifted and was about to check and see how bad the damage was in his lower region when he realized two things. This wasn’t his room and he was _not_ hugging a pillow like he had previously thought. Makoto looked down to see the sleeping form of Haruka and had to use every ounce of self-control not to let out a very non manly scream. For a brief moment Makoto believed that his _'dream'_ may have actually been real, forgetting about the illogical side of that with the face that throughout the whole dream he barely felt in control, but Makoto was quickly reassured by the fact they were both wearing clothes and Haruka had no signs of hickeys or bite marks anywhere on his body.

The olive haired doctor guessed he had accidently fell asleep before he could leave Haruka’s room after their midnight session. Makoto let out a small relieved sigh, though his face was still red from embarrassment at not only the dream now but the fact that he fell asleep in Haruka’s bed and somehow managed to snuggle up and wrap his arms around the raven haired teen in his sleep. Makoto slowly removed his arms from their place around Haruka, being careful not to wake the sleeping teen, and looked down to his lower region only to find a wet spot on his pants. He silently cursed at this, hoping it wouldn’t leave a stain and he could make it to his room without this problem being noticed by any of his coworkers or patients or he was sure he’d die from embarrassment. He didn’t even know why he had that dream; he never thought of Haruka like that, heck, he hadn’t thought of anyone like that for years. Makoto wanted to hit himself for even thinking about Haruka, he was his best friend and patient, it was unprofessional not to mention _illegal_ to do anything like that since Haruka was underage.

Makoto wanted to blame it all on a random dream, just a product of an over active imagination, but it was so vivid. Makoto wasn’t sure if it actually could mean something. Makoto really didn’t want to admit it, but it wasn’t really a nightmare, of anything Makoto enjoyed it. There was a feeling present in his dream that was present for a while when he was around Haruka, a warm glow in his chest that just made a smile form on his lips. Makoto always pegged it as brotherly love; he didn’t want to think of it as anything else. He didn’t want to have a crush on Haruka; he wouldn’t allow himself to fall for a patient. Makoto knew how dangerous that was and wanted no part of it, he just decided he was overthinking it and would leave it at that. Makoto had to convince himself he only felt brotherly love for Haruka and that was it.

Makoto’s mind went back to the yelling outside the room and hoped everything was okay and cooled over. He took a deep breath as he mustered up the courage to leave Haruka’s room, holding his files inconspicuously over his crotch region, hoping no one would notice what he was hiding. Makoto left the room and walked down the hall into the common area, Rin stormed by, knocking the files Makoto had been using for cover out of the olive haired doctor’s hand. Makoto made a tiny yelp at that but Rin didn’t seem to care, Makoto watched as he went into his own room and slammed the door. Before Makoto cold even question what was going on he looked over to the common area to see Sousuke crossing his arms and sighing.

“What happened?” Makoto asked and Sousuke looked at him, he seemed a bit frustrated, Makoto started to put two and two together.

“I called him Rin and he flipped out… He flipped out ‘cause I called him his name.” Sousuke said, with his frustration seemed confusion as well.

“He probably switched personalities again… The personalities get touchy about being called the wrong name.” Makoto replies, though he was unsure to what set Rin off to switch personalities again.

“How am I supposed to know what name he’s going by?!” Sousuke asked, Makoto understood his frustration since he was new here still and didn’t know anything about the patients’ illnesses.

“You’ll start to be able to tell by how he acts after a while.” Makoto tells him. After the couple of years Rin had been here, Makoto as well as the other staff and patients knew what personality Rin would be in just by how he walked, by the time he opened his mouth it was obvious. Rin had three different personalities so far. There was his normal one, Rin, his hot-heated, angry, and mischievous personality, Ryuu, and his depressed personality, Eri. Sousuke would probably take a little while until he recognized the signs of a different personality. Makoto looked at the brunet who was quiet a couple moments before his gaze caught something. Makoto blinked in confusion at first before he realized, much to his mortification, that Sousuke noticed the wet spot on the crotch of his pants. The olive haired doctor’s cheeks quickly turned red and he went to pick up the files he had dropped and had previously been using as cover, in hopes it would all just be forgotten. Much to his embarrassment he heard Sousuke chuckle a bit.

“Have a little issue there Makoto?” He asks and Makoto just wished he could disappear, his cheeks flaring red.

“I-It’s not funny…” Makoto whines only causing Sousuke to laugh more. Sousuke was lucky Makoto was a nice boss.

“Man you’re some unique boss. What are you doing here anyways? Were you leaving Haruka’s…” Sousuke cut himself off and Makoto could’ve sworn he saw the wheels turning in his head.

“It’s not like that!” The olive haired doctor is quick on the defensive. Sousuke doesn’t seem too convinced and raises a brow.

“You sure about that? Thinking about it, I’ve been in here all morning… Which means since I haven’t run into you, you’ve been with him all night.” The brunet states to which Makoto groans. He was convinced the universe was trying to screw with him.

“I was in there last night for our midnight therapy session… I didn’t do anything like _that_ with him” Makoto says just hoping this conversation could be over. Talking about sleeping with Haruka just made Makoto feel embarrassed, and he was trying to not think about any possible feelings for the raven haired teen.

  
“Sure, whatever you say. Just let me know when you’re going to fuck your patient so I can give you guys alone time.” Sousuke said with a smirk and Makoto whined.

“I’m not doing that with him Sousuke… It’s unprofessional and he’s only seventeen.” Makoto mumbles.

  
“So? It’s natural to go after the younger ones and you run this place, you can make the rules.” Sousuke said, his voice had a bit of humor in it. Makoto just gave Sousuke a serious look which got the brunet to stop joking around.

  
“Eh, don’t worry about it. I believe you. You seem too nice and strong with your morals to screw one of your patients.” Sousuke said and patted Makoto’s shoulder. Makoto made a tiny sigh still embarrassed about all of this.

“Hey don’t sweat it, it happens to every guy.” Sousuke said, his laugh making it seeming like he had it happen to himself very often.

“I-I’m going to go clean up.” Makoto says with pink cheeks, just wanting to end this conversation.

“Are you okay?” Sousuke asks and Makoto shifts a bit. He didn’t want to talk about how he was trying to force away all the thoughts that came from the dream he had about Haruka. He didn’t want to think about kissing him… touching him… or sleeping with him… No he couldn’t. He doubted Sousuke would even understand this, of anything the brunet would think it was a joke. Makoto didn’t realize his silence seemed more of a ‘no’ until he saw Sousuke raising a brow.

“…Did you have a dream about him?” He asks. Makoto stiffened, mentally cursing himself for making it so obvious. With a frown Makoto looked away from Sousuke, he didn’t even know why he was entertaining this conversation… They should be working not gossiping.

“Hey, those kinds of things happen… It’s nothing to be ashamed about.” Sousuke said, Makoto could tell by his careful choice of words that he wasn’t used to cheering people up.

“He’s my patient, it’s not right.” Makoto says quietly. He could’ve sworn he saw a frown form on Sousuke’s face for whatever reason.

“You can’t control dreams.” He says, though it seemed like he wanted to say something else as well. Makoto just sighed and shrugged.

“Just… Do me a favor and forget about all… This.” He says, a bit of embarrassment in his voice. Sousuke nods and Makoto starts to walk off, relieved that conversation was over. He left the patient ward, went downstairs, and grabbed his clothes from his room, before going to take a shower in the bathroom, just hoping to wash away the embarrassment.

Makoto really just hoped that this dream was a result of overactive imagination; he didn’t want to think about the possibility of having a crush on Haruka. It was wrong, completely wrong, Haruka was so much younger than Makoto, and Makoto was supposed to be his doctor. A professional who definitely did not want to sleep with his patient. If he did so and anything found out Haruka would be taken from him.

Makoto just shook off the thoughts, as he stepped into the shower and started to wash off. He would just deal with this like he dealt with any of his other problems, by ignoring it until it went away. Sure it was somewhat hypocritical; he was a doctor using this unhealthy technique… But it was the only thing that could work and saving him from a dangerous relationship.  
For some reason, Makoto felt like this was the mark for when things were going to start going downhill for him.


	3. Feelings and Realizations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A view into Haruka's life at the hospital as well as some confessions and realizations.

Haruka had been attempting to relax in the bath when he heard the door to the bathroom open and someone stumbled inside. He poked his eyes above the water only to be met with the familiar figure of Makoto. It wasn’t unusual for the older man to come in to see him when he was in this moment of tranquility, Makoto had once said the best time to talk was when Haruka felt at peace. Makoto has even grown past the uncertain embarrassment and fear of possibly walking into the bathroom to find Haruka naked, he learned Haruka always wore his swimming jammers in the bath, and the knowledge that Haruka stuck to patterns and never liked change got Makoto to stop worrying about the possibility of Haruka not wearing his jammers because he always had and there was no reason for it to be different.

Makoto, unlike Haruka expected, was silent as he walked over very aware of Haruka’s eyes watching him. Haruka could tell there was something off, he wasn’t in his usual cheerful mood, last time he was like this was when he told Haruka they’d be getting a new patient, this was a week ago and the same guilty look was present on his face. Haruka had forgotten that until now, in fact by now, the paperwork was probably done and the new patient would be coming soon. That thought was a great way to destroy his calm mood.

A hand was stretched out towards him and Haruka blinked and sat up to look at Makoto’s outstretched hand, he knew it wasn’t the usual friendly hand to pull him out of the tub. He was upset to be proven right when he was pills in Makoto’s hand.

“I got you new medication since you were complaining about the last one.” Makoto says, Haruka barely noticed him shifting uncomfortably as he just glared down at the pills.

“I don’t want to take them.” He mutters. Haruka hated pills, he hated the way it made him feel. He wasn’t like Rin who depended on his medication to keep himself in tact both mentally and physically, his medication didn’t give him the same ‘high’ as Rin claimed his own did, Haruka’s made him feel like he wasn’t himself, made him have more anxiety and feel less in control of himself. After taking the pills his mind would be fuzzy and unable to focus. All Haruka would want to do was sleep so he was no longer disoriented, but he couldn’t, for some reason any time he tried to sleep after taking the medication he would always end up just lying there in a silence that only his dreaded thoughts could fill. Haruka hated that as well, it turned any liking towards medicine off, he hated to be left alone in his own thoughts but he could never bring himself to socialize much. He didn’t like being around everyone at the hospital much; they all got on his nerves, except Makoto. Rin was too loud, confident, and easily set off. Nagisa too obnoxious, just like a child. Aiichiro and Gou were too nosy about his ‘wellbeing’ and he didn’t trust Sousuke at all.

“Haru.” Makoto says causing the raven haired teen to snap and slap Makoto’s hand away, sending the pills flying across the room. He didn’t want to be pressured into something he didn’t want to do. Makoto retracted his hand quickly after that and looked at Haruka with a bit of surprise. Haruka himself was shocked with himself but tried not to show it. He made his face turn stoic and he looked away. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Makoto grab the medicine off the floor, Haruka couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt for snapping at Makoto like that… But he understood, right? He had pushed Haru into a sense of discomfort. When the sound of the door clicking open reached Haruka’s ears, he snapped his head in Makoto’s direction; the olive haired doctor was going to leave the room.

“When you want to take your medicine, tell Ai and I’ll have him take you to me.” Makoto said, his voice calmer than it should be. Haruka made a small huff and looked away again, not watching as Makoto left. The olive haired doctor was just trying to guilt trip him, is all, later today Makoto would come back and see him for their nightly therapy session like usual.

 _'How do you know he’ll be back?_ ’ Haruka stiffened at the familiar voice that nagged him all day and night. It was cold and menacing, and Haruka always felt himself wondering if he was scared or if he just got furious when he heard the voice.

“He always comes back.” Haruka mutters bitterly, angry at the voice and angry at the fact he was the only one who could hear it. This was a constant reminder of how he was crazy and right where he belonged in this hospital.

 _'You never know, he has been acting weird around you lately.’_ The voice said, almost sing song like. Haruka knew what the voice meant, Makoto had been acting strange lately, which was worrying. For one, he’d be later than usual for their therapy sessions, always claiming he was just busy. Then there was the fact he’d rarely look Haruka in the eyes anymore. Not to mention how awkward and fidgety he got when he was around the raven haired teen. It had been happening ever since Makoto fell asleep in his room. Haruka had woken up and noticed Makoto asleep with him that night, he didn’t really mind much though, he actually felt more comforted by it and fell back asleep. After that when Haruka woke up in the morning, for once not having nightmares, Makoto was gone and for the rest of the day he didn’t go to see Haruka. The two used to spend a lot of time together, Makoto would check up on him multiple times during the day, spend time with him and even making sure to eat lunch with him every day, but now he wasn’t going to see Haruka as often, hell Haruka was even lucky if Makoto sat with him at lunch with him for a couple minutes. Change had always bothered Haruka and made him more on edge; he knew it was almost always bad. Makoto had known Haruka’s discomfort for it yet he was still letting things between the two change for the worse.

 _'Aww, is poor Haruka going to cry?’_ The voice nags on. Haruka felt anger course through him but when he put a hand on his cheek he felt it was wet with a tear. The raven haired teen growled and wiped it away, he couldn’t show weakness, not with this voice in his head and not for the silly reason of Makoto not talking to him as much.

“Shut up.” Haruka mutters and stands to get out of the tub, the water which had provided relief and a feeling of purity just felt could and haunting now… For some reason, Haruka, despite having been in the cleansing water, felt dirty and disgusted with himself. Haruka dried off and looked at himself in the mirror, not yet changing out of his jammers. There was a scar across his neck, one that had been there since he was younger and became a bit smaller as he grew, but still kept the same pink color. He never knew how he had gotten it, all he knew was one day he was happy with his family then another day he was in a hospital, orphaned and covered in bruises and cuts, including the one on his neck. Haruka ran a slender finger across the scar, just staring at it in the mirror. He wondered what other people thought when they saw it. Haruka had almost reached the end of the scar with his finger but then froze. In the mirror Haruka saw his surroundings change, the bathroom faded away as Haruka saw himself in a dark alley way. Something about it was dark and looming, teasing Haruka as if trying to get him to see some unseen horror. A child like scream rang out behind Haruka and he quickly turned around, only to find himself back in the bathroom. When Haruka turned back to the mirror it just reflected the ordinary bathroom’s surroundings and his own nervous face. He ran a hand through his hair and just got dressed before going to leave the bathroom. He was about to go find Makoto until he remembered their ‘fight’ of sorts. So instead, too stubborn to take the medicine, Haruka went into the living room and sat on the couch. Nagisa was playing a game on one of the chairs and Rin was talking to Sousuke while he cleaned around some. Haruka had noticed the two becoming a bit closer and couldn’t really understand how Rin was so ready to accept him. Haruka pulled his legs to his chest and just sat there thinking about both the issue he just had in the bathroom and Makoto. He wanted to tell Makoto but he still refused to take the pills. Makoto was the one who was making him choose, so Haruka wasn’t to blame for not telling Makoto about what happened, of anything it was said olive haired doctor’s fault.

“Still as stoic as ever Haru.” Rin says snapping Haruka out of his thoughts of blaming Makoto. Haruka looked over to see Sousuke had left and Rin was now sitting next to him.

“What do you want Rin?” Haruka asks causing the red head to laugh.

“I just wanted to see what my favorite grump was up to today. You rarely come out here.” Rin says looking to Haru as if searching for an answer. The raven haired teen sighed.

“I don’t have anything to do. Makoto isn’t going to see me until I take my medicine…” Haruka says.

“Oh.” Haruka blinks and looks at Rin confused by the curt, flat response.

“It’s just it makes sense, it has to do with Makoto.” Rin tells Haruka after a moment with a bitterness that came whenever Makoto was brought up. Haruka noticed it but never mentioned it to the red head.

“Why don’t you just take your medicine? It helps.” Nagisa buts in and Haruka makes a small huff.

“I hate my medicine.” Haruka just mutters flatly. Rin rolls his eyes.

“Well at least now I know why Makoto told Ai and Sousuke he wasn’t going to be in here for most of the day.” The red head says, Haruka frowns slightly, his hope of this all just being a bluff was starting to crack and shatter.

“Why are you talking to Sousuke so much?” Haruka asks, not because he really cares all too much but because he NEEDS to change the subject. He couldn’t worry more about this Makoto situation.

“What? Are you jealous?” Rin asks, his voice having humor though Haruka could’ve sworn he saw something in Rin’s eyes that betrayed that.

“Why would I be jealous?” Haruka asks, he didn’t give a shit who Rin talked to; he just was curious how Rin could be on such good terms with Sousuke. When Rin didn’t answer Haruka continued on.

“I just don’t understand how you can trust him, he doesn’t seem very reliable.” Haruka states.

“Well he’s a cool guy and nice to me. Plus he’s good looking.” Rin says in a joking tone which Haruka obviously didn’t find amusing.

“You’re not telling me you have a thing for this guy, are you? You just met him, also, he’s older than you AND your doctor.” Haruka says not caring if he was scolding someone older than him. Rin’s expression turned into a glare.

“I was joking Haru, but first, he’s not a doctor, he’s just a helping hand. Secondly that whole ‘not being able to date your older doctor thing’ is really rich coming from you. You’re such a god damn hypocrite.” The read head says. Nagisa gasps and sits up more, seeming to find this conversation more interesting than his game now.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Haruka asks causing Rin to let out a bitter bark of laughter.

“YOU are only a teenager yet YOU are head over heels for your ADULT, nine year older, DOCTOR!” Rin says causing Haruka to freeze in place. Makoto…? That… Couldn’t be true.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Haruka said, trying to keep himself calm without shaking. Rin just rolls his eyes again and scoffs.

“It’s always ‘Makoto this’ and ‘Makoto that’! He’s just being nice to you but you’re completely in love with him! You’re so blind to half the stuff going on around you because the only thing on your mind is Makoto. Fucking hell, you’re even blind to your own feelings!” Rin scolds Haruka. The raven haired teen just stared at Rin in shock. Could he be right? Haruka knew he depended on Makoto, just never thought _that_ much, nor did he think that all the thoughts he had about Makoto meant he loved him. Haruka just shook his head, he refused to believe that. He got up shakily and looked away from Rin.

“Y-You’re wrong.” He says unable to keep his voice from shaking. He didn’t wait for Rin to respond; instead he just walked to his room. When he got there he ran a hand through his hair, Rin had to be wrong. He could not love Makoto, he was his doctor, and they had known each other for years! Still there was a nagging feeling in Haruka’s stomach, he wanted to deny its existence but knew he liked having Makoto around more than he should. Everyday he’d wait until Makoto came to see him, he’d brush it off like the doctor’s visits didn’t matter, but he knew that he couldn’t do without them. Maybe Makoto even knew this; he did in fact give Haruka the ultimatum of taking his medicine or not seeing him anymore.

There was a knock at the door of his room and Haruka looked up, perking up and hoping it was Makoto. He was greatly disappointed to see Sousuke there instead; he was holding a plate with Mackerel on it.

“Don’t look so disappointed.” Sousuke says sarcastically as he entered.

“Makoto wanted to make sure you eat.” Sousuke said, placing the plate down on the night stand for Haruka. Haruka could tell Sousuke’s hesitance to be close to Haruka, he didn’t feel comfortable being there with him. Sousuke looked back at Haruka and narrowed his eyes slightly.

“Seriously, you don’t have to keep sulking. Just take your fucking medicine if you’re going to be this pouty about not seeing Makoto.” Sousuke says with a huff. So Makoto told the others exactly what happened… Haruka glared at Sousuke; unable to find any way Rin could possibly think he was nice.

 _‘Why don’t you just kill him?’_ The voice appears again, Haruka wouldn’t lie at the bit of shock he had with that comment… The voices never told him to do that before. Haruka tried to ignore it and looked away from Sousuke. He hated this voice haunting him, especially when he was in this type of mood. He knew it was wrong to listen to the voice, Makoto had always told him that.

 _‘Makoto doesn’t know what’s best for you!’_ The voice taunts. Haruka digs his nails in his hands, still trying to ignore the voice. Sousuke raises a brow at him but shakes his head and leaves the room, muttering something about ‘crazies’. Haruka stomach growls and he goes to the nightstand to eat the mackerel but once again the voice stops him in his tracks.

 _‘How do you know Makoto hasn’t put medicine in it?’_ The voice asks teasingly as if trying to push his buttons. Still, this was a valid statement, the thought of medicine being in the fish worried him.

“Makoto wouldn’t do that to me…” Haruka tries to reason; he didn’t want to listen to the voice. Makoto was trustworthy.

 _‘Why wouldn’t he? It’s not like he really cares about you. He’s just your doctor and he just wants to get you out of his hair.’_ Haruka blinks at that… It couldn’t be true. Makoto always visited him and made sure he was okay.

 _‘It’s just a job to him.’_ The taunting voice says.

“No..!” Haruka snaps back, he didn’t want this to be true. The voice was just using his insecurities against him.

_‘Then why isn’t he here now?’_

“Because he’s busy!” Haruka says, he could feel himself starting to lose control as he got shaky.

 _‘Why do you insist he cares? Are you really letting what that red head said get to you?’_ The voice laughs. Haruka starts to pace, knowing what the voice was talking about. He had let what Rin said get to him, because even though he had tried to deny it, he was so undeniably in love with Makoto. Haruka ran a hand through his hair, he felt like he couldn’t get enough oxygen, his heart was in his throat and he wasn’t able to stop shaking.

“S-Shut up…” Haruka mutters.

 _‘Aww, is someone upset again? You want to believe you’re actually cared about… So precious. But why would anyone care about you?’_ The voice asks bitterly. Haruka feels tears fall down his face; he growls and grabs the plate, the source of what started this banter in the first place, and threw it against the wall, causing multiple pieces of glass to shatter everywhere.

“Shut up!” Haruka yelled, he didn’t care if the others heard him; he just wanted the voice to stop. The raven haired teen covered his ears and kept pacing. Makoto cared about him. He was okay. Makoto didn’t hate him, they were close. Best friends.

 _‘Don’t bother trying to convince yourself~ You should just end it now so you don’t bother any more people.’_ The voice says. Haruka stops in his tracks and looks in the mirror at himself. He saw the shadow right behind him, the shadow that the voice belonged to. Haruka just stared a moment before snapping. He punched the mirror, shattering it into pieces, in the process getting shards stabbed into his hand.

“Leave me alone!” He yells, once again bringing his hands to cover his ears again. He paid no attention to his bleeding hand that had glass stuck in it. He wanted Makoto. He wanted the doctor’s warmth to light up this dark, cold room. The door to his room opens only for Sousuke to come inside, he looked at Haruka with widened eyes. Haruka didn’t look to him, he was aware of his presence but tried to pay no attention, he was just focused on silencing the voice. When a hand grabbed Haruka’s arm the raven haired teen stiffened and tried to pull away.

“Let go of me!” He yells and struggles to get free. In his eyes the room around him once again started to transform into the dark alley, it sent a chill of fear through him. He could hear yelling but couldn’t make it out; he just kept struggling to get free from the rough hands that gripped his arms. He tried anything to get away, kicking, punching, but the hands did not let go. He wanted Makoto. He wanted Makoto’s warmth, his smile, his calm caring demeanor. He wanted to be held by Makoto and know everything was okay. Haruka didn’t care if he was shaking or crying. He didn’t care if he was yelling and causing a scene, he just wanted to be saved.

Sousuke in the meantime tried to hold Haruka in place, he didn’t know what the hell the issue with Haruka was, or why he had broken the mirror, but he knew he needed help. He yelled for Aiichiro to get Makoto and continued trying to keep Haruka still, despite the kicks, punches, and screams. He definitely did not expect his day to go this way. Fuck Sousuke didn’t even think anything like this would happen. Sure they were in a mental hospital but they had all seemed so normal before.

Sousuke turned to see Makoto pushing past Nagisa, Rin, Gou, and Ai to come in the room. His eyes widened when he saw Haruka in this state, Sousuke guessed that Haruka normally hadn’t acted out this badly. There was something in Makoto’s eyes, Sousuke saw, which seemed to be having an internal battle. Makoto came over and slowly wrapped his arms around Haruka, the raven haired teen stiffed at first but Makoto was gentle and started to whisper to him.

“Shh, it’s okay Haru; it’s me Makoto, it’s okay…” Sousuke let go of Haruka and just watched as Makoto lifted a shaky hand and stuck a needle in Haruka’s neck, injecting him with medicine. A guilty frown on the olive haired doctor’s face formed, so uncharacteristically for the usually cheerful doctor. Haruka relaxed in Makoto’s arms now, falling back against the doctor and Sousuke could make out the quiet mumble of Makoto’s name from Haruka before he was completely out.

“I never had to knock him out before…” Makoto mumbled. Sousuke noticed a small bit of pain in his voice. He was starting to figure Makoto out, the olive haired doctor was selfless, too much in fact, and every bit of pain his patients went through, Makoto tortured himself over it.

“…I’ll get a first aid kit.” Sousuke said, he didn’t know how to help Makoto, he wasn’t good with feelings and shit so the least he could do was just get things to help patch Haruka up. As he left the room he passed the patients and other staff.

“Get back to work, leave them alone.” Sousuke says with a sigh, he didn’t fully understand Makoto and Haruka’s relationship but he knew it was personal and intimate, borderline romantic. The two trusted each other more than anyone else. Sousuke couldn’t even imagine how Makoto must’ve felt, the closest person to him being insane and in a hospital. It was no wonder why he was upset with how freaked out Haruka was before.

When Sousuke returned to Haruka’s room with the first aid kit he found Makoto sitting by the bed, gently holding Haruka’s damaged hand so it didn’t get blood anywhere else. Haruka was still asleep, now tucked into his bed; Sousuke could guess Makoto carried him there. Sousuke placed the first aid kit by Makoto, the olive haired doctor looks to him.

“Thanks…” Makoto says quietly, the worry on his face was evident.

“No problem… And um hey, don’t uh keep worrying about this… He just needed to take his medicine, right? That’s why he was acting all wacko?” Sousuke asks. Makoto just puts his head in his free hand and lets out a shaky sigh.

"H-He’s made no progress… Of anything he’s worse.” The doctor whispers.

“I’m…. I’m sure that’s not true…” Sousuke says feeling awkward and out of place consoling his boss.

“I’ve known him for eight years… It was never this bad.” Makoto states, Sousuke chews his lip. His mind was telling him to just leave but he knew he couldn’t leave Makoto like this; he had to cheer him up.

“It was probably because he hadn’t taken his medicine.” Sousuke says, hoping that if he said it enough it would be true enough for Makoto to accept. Sousuke mentally cursed himself for getting involved in these affairs. He shouldn’t care for the people here.

“Maybe…” The doctor mumbles. Sousuke shifts, feeling more and more uncomfortable with the burden of saying something comforting. He was not good at all with feelings. Instead, Sousuke just decided ‘Fuck it’ and tried to find a way to escape, like he did with most of his problems.

“I’ll um, leave you alone with him… That way he won’t freak out again or anything when he wakes up…” Sousuke says. Makoto just makes a small nod and Sousuke goes to leave, relieved that it worked. He left the room only to be met by Rin, who was waiting outside the room. Sousuke felt his shoulders slump a bit, as attractive as Rin was, he was a handful and Sousuke just did not have the fucking energy to put up with it. He just kept himself quiet though and waited to see what Rin was there for.

“Is Haru okay?” Rin asks, surprising Sousuke a bit with the sudden question about Haruka of all people.

“He’s still out cold….” Sousuke says, Rin sighs.

“What about Makoto?” Rin asks, his voice quiet and Sousuke could hear it get the slightest bit tenser.

“He’s worried and upset… Probably fixing up Haruka’s hand right now.” Sousuke says rubbing the back of his neck; conversations with Rin were never this calm. He knew his abrasive side would come again soon.

“Figures…” Rin mutters. Sousuke sighs, there it was. Rin seemed to notice the tired look from Sousuke since he became defensive.

“Don’t look at me like that, Makoto IS a sucker when it comes to Haru.” He says. Sousuke rolled his eyes, he couldn’t deny that. The anger emitting from Rin was starting to grow exponentially and Sousuke realized his mistake for even staying. He had to curs his god damn weakness for the cute ones…

“Well, they’ve known each other for years now haven’t they?” Sousuke asks.

“Yeah, I know that, but Makoto baby’s him… And because of it Haru’s completely dependent on him.” Rin says.

“I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing, it’s good to be dependent on someone.” Sousuke says, surprised at how fast he came up with that one. Rin growled and pushed Sousuke against a wall, holding onto his collar.

"You don’t understand they want to fuck each other!” Rin whispers angrily so as Makoto doesn’t hear from Haruka’s room. Sousuke’s eyes widen slightly and his mind is reeling for a moment.

“Wait, what? What the fuck are you going on about?!” Sousuke asks just as quiet, trying to pull away from Rin’s grip.

“The two are together the most, Makoto always tries to see him the most and Haruka always waits for him like a lost puppy! Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed.” Sousuke remembered when Makoto left Haruka’s room one morning with a wet ‘man problem’ apparent on the front of his pants, he had promised to forget about it but thinking about it now… Could it be Rin was right…? Rin smirks slightly when he realizes he got through to Sousuke, but the brunet was already onto something else, not only looking into Makoto and Haruka’s behaviors, but Rin’s.

“Why does this bother you so much? It seemed like you hated Haruka.” Sousuke says, finally able to pull away from Rin. The red head pauses and blinks, seeming to become tense at the question.

“I don’t hate Haruka…” Rin says, his voice getting quieter and an obvious sign that things just got serious. Sousuke looks suspiciously at Rin as he says that, he had always assumed Rin hated the raven haired teen since whenever he saw him the red head would look angry and spiteful, but now looking back on it, Sousuke recalled Makoto was always there. He also recalled how tense Rin was when he asked about Makoto as well as how he seemed irritated with how Makoto treated Haruka.

“You like Haruka.” Sousuke comes to the conclusion but feels as though a pit dropped in his stomach. It couldn’t have been because he wanted a relationship with Rin, because Sousuke never got in relationships, they were too much of a hassle. But he would admit Rin was attractive and would make a perfect ‘bang mate’ while he lived at this hospital… He had to have some fun. Just Sousuke thought he had a chance to hook up with Rin at least one, but turned out he was wrong. Rin froze in place at the statement, his face turning into a glare.

“It doesn’t matter. He likes Makoto.” The redhead bitterly spits out.

“It _does_ matter though because you’re pissed at Makoto about it. This whole time I thought you had some beef with Haru but you were really just pissed because he was closer to Makoto than you.” Sousuke said, a grin forming on his face for figuring it all out. This sure as hell was one fucked up love triangle, but Sousuke had nothing else to entertain his mind with. Rin stubbornly looks away.

“Shut up.” Rin snaps, Sousuke’s shit eating grin only intensifies.

“It’s not fair…” Rin says quietly after a couple moments and Sousuke blinks, his smile going away when he looked at the red head and saw the anger and pain in his eyes.

“He only likes Makoto because they’ve known each other for years… It’s an unfair advantage! I like Haru, I should have a chance, but I don’t because Makoto has the upper hand! I’m just left with a broken heart. Worst part is I can’t even fucking get over him. Rin growls. Sousuke raises a brow. So Rin wanted to get over Haru, huh. The grin returned once again on Sousuke’s face.

“Well you can always bring me to your room and let me help you with that task.” He says giving a small wink. He decided he no longer cared; he didn’t have to walk on egg shells anymore over getting fired. If Makoto, the doctor and owner of this hospital, was fucking a minor nine years younger, then Sousuke sure as hell could sleep with Rin. He had immunity. Sousuke’s smirk intensified when Rin stiffened and a blush formed on his face. God, that was fucking adorable to Sousuke.

“W-What?!” Rin asks seeming almost insulted. Sousuke laughs.

“If Makoto can bend the rules I’m sure I can too.” Sousuke says leaning closer. Rin blushes more and shifts, seeming to be trying to get some space between the two.

“Who says I want to sleep with you?” Rin grumbles. Sousuke chuckles and lets his gaze lower.

“Probably the tent in your pants.” Sousuke retorts smugly causing Rin’s face to go red with both embarrassment and anger. Rin slapped Sousuke with a huff and stormed off to his room. Sousuke groaned slightly.

“You can’t deny it though.” He mutters to himself before going to walk off, confident Rin would come around sooner or later.

               

Makoto in the meantime sat by Haruka, holding the raven haired teen’s good hand as he started to wake up. Makoto couldn’t help but feel guilt for what happened, if he had made Haru take his medicine… Or stayed by his side and not have made him choose… Haru would’ve been okay. Makoto knew Haru got more worked up when he wasn’t around. The raven haired teen opened his ocean blue eyes, causing Makoto to sit up straighter and look at him with worry. He could feel his heart beat faster in his chest.

“A-Are you okay?” Makoto asks first, wanting to make sure Haruka wasn’t hurt anywhere else and that he was okay after being shot with medication. The olive haired doctor could tell Haru was confused to what happened at first, almost in a daze which despite being normal in these cases still worried Makoto. Soon Makoto saw the realization hit Haruka’s face and he slipped further under hiss covers. Makoto sighed, just wanting to figure out what happened so it could never happen again. There was a small squeeze of his hand and Makoto saw Haruka staring at him.

“I… I don’t know what exactly caused it…” Haruka mumbles.

“What happened…?” Makoto asks quietly, he could feel Haruka’s frowning gaze on him but he couldn’t bring himself to look at him.

“All around me… turned into an alley way… I don’t know why but I’ve been seeing it a lot lately… I was freaking out and Sousuke grabbed onto me, I didn’t know who it was, I-I just saw a shadow…” Haruka trails off. Makoto frowns, he remembered Haruka used to have nightmares as a kid about an alley way and it was possible this was the same thing… It could mean part of the blank spot in his memory was starting to be filled. He hugged Haruka tightly, able to feel the younger teen shaking.

“I’m sorry I had to knock you out…” Makoto whispers, Haruka shakes his head.

“You did what you had to do…” Haruka says quietly, Makoto slumps his shoulders but makes a small nod. Haru was hesitant but put a hand on Makoto’s cheek; the olive haired doctor blushed and looked at Haruka curiously.

“C-Can I try something…?” Haruka asks quietly, Makoto blinks but nods, having no clue what the raven haired teen wanted to do until Haruka leaned over so their faces were inches apart. Makoto felt the heat rise to his cheeks and tips of his ears and his heart started to pound in his chest as he looked at Haru, just waiting to see his next move. Haruka, after a moment moved closer and kissed him. Makoto felt his mind couldn’t make sense of what happened but as if on instinct he leaned in and kissed back. The kiss only lasted a little bit, much to Makoto’s disappointment, and they pulled away. This was when Makoto cursed his logic and morals for kicking in.

“…H-Haru…” Makoto says quietly, his face red and his mind still reeling; he didn’t know what he should do… He just kissed his patient, he kissed HARU. It was wrong… As much as he hated the fact, they couldn’t do that.

“…You kissed back.” Haru just says, as if knowing Makoto would try to back out of this saying it was a mistake.

“Why did you kiss me…?” Makoto asks quietly, trying to figure out his and Haruka’s feelings.

“Rin said I was in love with out… And that it was obvious to everyone… I didn’t believe it at first but when I started to think about it, I realized I do like you… I-I think I love you… I just wanted to test it out to be sure… I didn’t think you’d kiss back.” Haruka says quietly. Makoto’s face went red and he felt like his heart melted, Haru liked him. Haru loved him! Makoto couldn’t even manage to stop himself as he grabbed onto Haruka and pulled him into a hug. Haruka grabbed onto Makoto and hugged back, Makoto couldn’t lie, Haruka in his arms just seemed so right.

“Haru… You know we can’t do this…” Makoto whispers, despising the fact that he had to say this. He wanted to be with Haru so badly, but he knew how bad a patient doctor relationship could be. Makoto could feel Haruka holding onto him tighter.

“Do you like me…?” Haruka asks quietly.

“…Yes… I do…” Makoto admits with a sigh, Haruka looks up to him with stubborn eyes.

“Then we can do this… Just… Let’s try it…” The raven haired teen said leaning closer to Makoto. Makoto took in a shaky breath, he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t resist Haruka.

The olive haired doctor leaned in and kissed Haruka, his lips were soft and Makoto felt he could get used to this. He could feel Haruka add more pressure to the kiss and Makoto parted his lips slightly. He pulled Haruka closer, needing the raven haired teen as close as possible. Makoto was surprised when a tongue ran across his lips but he parts his lips more and met it half way, blushing more as his and Haruka’s tongues dancing around each other. Makoto nibbled on Haruka’s lip slightly, and a moan escaped the teen’s throat. Makoto’s mind just went fuzzy after that, full of passion and his love for the raven haired teen. He pushed the teen down on the bed and moved to be on top of him, pulling away from the kiss to look down at Haruka. The raven haired teen was blushing and his eyes were dark, filled with an emotion Makoto had never seen in them before. Makoto scattered small kisses across Haruka’s face causing the raven haired teen to whine slightly in embarrassment. Makoto chuckled slightly and then gave a love bit on Haruka’s neck, stopping the whining and causing Haruka to let out a small gasp of surprise instead. Makoto let a hand slip under Haruka’s shirt, traveling up his back, and went to kiss the teen again. Haruka kisses back eagerly, and Makoto feels light headed, this was just too amazing. Makoto moved his other hand on Haruka’s leg and let it start to travel up his inner thigh, that was until Haruka stiffened and pushed him away. Makoto blinked and took his hands off of Haruka, not sure if he did something wrong, when he looked down to Haruka he saw the teens eyes wide and he seemed nervous.

“I-I’m sorry..!” Makoto says, unsure still what he did but he didn’t want to upset Haruka.

“D-Don’t b-be just… I-I couldn’t be t-touched there… I-I’m sorry… Y-you did nothing wrong…” Haruka says, Makoto could tell he didn’t want Makoto to worry about him, but Makoto was worried, Haruka never told Makoto not to touch him. But Makoto did realize his hand was getting into dangerous territory. Makoto sat up, off of Haru, now feeling a pang of disgust with himself, what was he doing?

“M-Makoto don’t go…” Makoto blinked when Haruka said those words shakily, he at first thought Haru was nervous and upset because their positions, Makoto being Haruka’s doctor and Haru being a minor, that at least was the first thing that came into Makoto’s mind as his head became clearer. He thought that it was possible Haruka was having second thoughts and just didn’t want to say anything but when he realized Haruka was shaking he knew it was something else. Makoto knew the issue before wasn’t that Haruka was shy… He was never shy about anything, something was wrong. Haruka couldn’t be touched anywhere close to his personal area, the fear in Haruka’s eyes and his behavior now exhibited that. Seeing this was when things started to piece together for Makoto.

Haruka never liked to be touched. He hated change and always stuck to patterns because something did change and it fucked up his whole life, if something in his daily routine or surroundings changed he couldn’t handle it because what happened in the past represented change leading to a bad thing. He blamed his difficulty concentrating, relaxing, sleeping, and his feeling of being out of control on his medicine, but it never was that. He had been having nightmares about an alley way and a shadow which haunts him still to this day. His schizophrenia had created the voice and images in Haruka’s head that was hinting towards the problem all along. The huge blank spot in Haruka’s memory left out a lot, and only traumatizing events can be completely blocked out from a person’s memory. Makoto felt like an idiot for never realizing all the signs before, Haruka was socially broken because what had happened, he didn’t want to see anyone; he had anxiety about new people and a lack of trust. Yet he couldn’t handle it if Makoto left him, he was scared of being alone.

Makoto realized now that there was an actual reason Haru stayed in the tub so long, he felt impure because what happened and somewhere in the back of his mind he believed that the water would cleanse him of that event. Haruka had a fractured personality altogether as a result of what happened; his mind didn’t work like others. He felt the whole world was out to get him. He had a hard time deciphering his own feelings. He flipped between being emotionally numb and full of anxiety as well as having stages of self-destruction. He was still so vulnerable. Haru couldn’t stand being touched by people he didn’t know well, he only allowed Makoto to since he grew up trusting him, but still even with Haruka claiming to love Makoto he couldn’t be touched in his lower section by him. He couldn’t stand to be touched there because it made him go back to the dark alley way where everything started, with the shadow who ruined Haruka’s whole life and sentenced him to this life in the white hospital prison. The only thing left was for Makoto to ask Haruka, to figure out if this theory was true. He sure hoped it wasn’t… The quiet words felt like venom on his tongue and Makoto really wished he never had to ask this in the first place.

“Haru… Were you raped..?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How much do you hate me now?  
> 7/31 update: I edited the format of each chapter, I have work soon but I will try to finish and post the next chapter after~


	4. Life Is Shit But Let's Make The Best Of It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All people have down days... Especially the Iwatobi Gang! Where every day is shitty and the bad ones are fucking terrible! :D  
> AKA Since I was gone for so long without inspiration, now I come back with a nice angst drama fest, some may love me for a nice little hook up in there. ;)

Sousuke was in his room, drying off his hair after a shower, when he heard screaming from the patient ward. He let out a small sigh, he had been working here for a while now and he still was getting used to this. Once again the yelling was from Haruka, this making Sousuke hesitant on actually going to help stop whatever was happening. He didn't like Haruka all that much, he believed that much was obvious, the raven haired teen was just trouble for this hospital, causing both Makoto and Rin to fall head over heels for him and then causing more issues with his seemingly long list of psychological problems, to which Sousuke didn't even know most of them. Every issue in the hospital Sousuke had witnessed so far involved Haruka, yet everyone else seemed to like him and excused his behavior for whatever reason.

  
Sousuke let out a long sigh as he got up, knowing he had to give some assistance, especially if the others hadn't heard Haruka's scream, or if they were too busy to see what was happening. He left his room and went upstairs to the patient ward, swiping his card through the machine to unlock the door with way too many locks to even be considered normal. When Sousuke got up there, though, he immediately was met with the sight of Haruka pushing Rin, who previously had him pinned up against the wall and slapping him after. Rin, once slapped, backed up a bit, Sousuke could see the anger on the red head's face and part of him was pissed at Haruka for causing yet another scene and upsetting Rin even more. A small part of Sousuke really wanted Rin to be attracted to him, but it seemed like Haruka was stopping Rin from ever coming close. Sousuke couldn't help but view the raven haired teen as a slut for not only getting Makoto, but leading Rin on, and the fact that these two crushes on Haruka were the main problems in the hospital pissed Sousuke off beyond belief. He knew since he first met Haruka that he would be trouble, and the raven haired teen made damn well sure he lived up to that.

 

  
Prior to the fight with Rin, Haru had been in his room, sitting on his bed and looking away from the olive haired doctor in front of him. He could feel Makoto's eyes watching him closely, what used to be filled with kindness and warmth were now demanding a response from the raven haired teen to the unanswered question. The only problem was, this was something Haruka had no answer for. It angered him slightly, Makoto knew he had no memory of what happened to him, so why would he have to ask that? Why would he even put that seed into Haruka's head? Haru didn't want to think about his past, let alone the possibility of him being raped... He had been only a child when the events he forgot took place... In order for that to happen.. The person responsible was pure evil.

  
"No. It didn't happen." Haru says with a stoic voice. He refused to believe something like that could've happened to him... He didn't want to believe he was violated on such a serious level. He was offended and upset Makoto would even imply something like that happened. When Haru looked into Makoto's eyes he saw a sad look of sympathy, one that made Haru even more irritated. He didn't want people to feel bad for him, let alone _Makoto_ feel bad for him. He didn't know why they couldn't just go back to what they were doing before, even if Makoto was making him feel nervous by where he had been touched, he much preferred it over talking about this and just getting them both worked up.

 

"Haru... You don't remember what happened.." Makoto said and Haru huffed. Since when was this new news to the two? They both knew this far before this conversation had even been brought up.

  
"I know, so why would you even bother asking if that happened to me?" Haru grumbled, crossing his arms and giving Makoto an irritated look. Makoto frowned and sighed, he seemed cautious which put Haru even more on edge. He didn't want Makoto of all people to be acting like this around him. Makoto was supposed to act like nothing was wrong with Haru, like Haru was just as normal as the next person.. He wasn't supposed to feel bad for him or act like he was a ticking time bomb! Things weren't supposed to change like this!

  
"I was hoping it would jar loose some memories... But I guess it didn't..." Makoto said quietly, his tone too gentle for the question he had previously asked. Haru glared at him, how did Makoto think that asking random questions would somehow unlock memories from Haru's past? It was like throwing a treat at a dog and expecting it to learn to sit... _Is Makoto getting desperate for answers? ....Does he not want to deal with me anymore...?_

  
"Well there you go, now you know that didn't happen because I didn't remember anything." Haru says, unable to even say 'rape' since he refused there was even a remote chance that it happened. Makoto looked at him and frowned, it was one that Haru could tell Makoto begged to differ. For whatever reason the olive haired doctor was sure that Haru had been taken advantage of.

  
"That's not true Haru... I... I've noticed that you have all the signs of being a victim of rape..." Makoto starts but Haru didn't want to hear any of it, he didn't believe it. Was there even defined signs of rape?? And how did Makoto have the power to decide that it happened or not?

  
"What are you talking about?! I don't show an signs of anything!" He huffs and Makoto's frown became larger. Haru guessed that Makoto didn't think he'd have this much rebuttal against his claim.

  
"You don't like to be touched, you like sticking to patterns, you hear voices, you can't sleep at night and half the time when you do you wake up terrified. Not to mention you're always nervous, you're detatched, your mind has fractured and creates false realities and hallucinations, and you take long baths all the time because you feel impure." Makoto lists and Haru growls. That could mean all sorts of things! It didn't mean he was taken advantage of!

  
"That doesn't mean anything!" Haru yells, all his anger and anxiety coming out in that small burst. When he looks at Makoto he saw the olive haired doctor slightly taken aback before looking even more upset. Haru only could huff as he justified himself, it was true... Those things didn't mean anything. They couldn't. Haru wasn't raped. He couldn't have been. If he had been then that meant everything had changed. It meant a part of Haru had already been taken and he didn't even know it... That was something Haru refused to believe.

  
Makoto turned away from Haru with a sigh and started to walk towards the door. Haru blinked and got up frowning. He grabbed Makoto's wrist, not wanting Makoto to leave... He wanted to go back to before the question was asked, to when the two were kissing and not upset. He didn't want to be alone again, when he was left with only his haunting thoughts

  
"Makoto... Please can we just forget this conversation..." He mumbles. Makoto just frowned and pulled his wrist away, shaking his head. Haru felt a small pain in his chest as he looked at Makoto's upset expression.

  
"I can't do this right now Haru..." The olive haired doctor says and leaves the room. Haru frowns deeply and sits back on his bed, upset that Makoto left him and still upset about the fact Makoto was convinced that he had been taken advantage of.  
Haruka pulled his legs to his chest and sighed. He didn't want to think about anything Makoto said, even if he was right... He just didn't want to find out. He'd rather not know at all. Haru didn't know why it was such a big deal to Makoto, the olive haired doctor seemed insistent on Haru admitting that he was taken advantage of. Haru knew Makoto would be upset if he did remember something like that happening, so then why did he want to find out so badly? Did he want them both to be upset? It made no sense to Haru...

  
The raven haired teen looked around his practically empty room, he hated being alone, he wanted Makoto to come back... He wished he hadn't flinched away and panicked when the two were kissing... Then nothing would've happened... He wouldn't have to have that discussion with Makoto and Makoto wouldn't be upset with him... Just something about Makoto starting to touch him made him nervous and uncomfortable, he never felt uncomfortable from Makoto's touch before but it was more of where he was about to touch him that was the issue. Haru huffed, that in no way was proof to Makoto's statement... It's normal to be nervous about getting serious with someone... Especially someone like Makoto, who seems to be unsure on his decision to pursue something with Haru.

  
Haru frowned at the thought of Makoto changing his opinion on their relationship, he knew Makoto was close to it, especially now that he had the thought that Haru was taken advantage of. He seemed concerned over the fact he was Haru's doctor and now with him convinced the raven haired teen was raped, he probably was scared to have anything to do with him. Haru didn't want that to happen... He wanted Makoto to stay close to him.. He didn't care if Makoto was his doctor or if he wasn't used to being in a relationship, he wanted to be with him. He was terrified to lose him. The raven haired teen sighed and got up, he didn't want to continue thinking about all of this, it was just upsetting him and because of that he was starting to get a headache. He left his room and looked around as he walked down the hallway and entered the main room, where the activities were. He was hoping to have some peacefully company, but all hopes of that was thrown away when he saw Rin there. The redhead was sitting down on the couch watching TV, some sports show that he favored, but he seemed to instantly notice Haru when he entered the room. As he looked over his eyes lit up, for whatever reason, Rin was weird like that. He got up and walked over to Haru, a teasing grin on his face.

  
"Hey, what's with the bummed look?" He asks, looking Haru over. Haru sighed and looked away, of course Rin would be on his case immediately. Haru didn't even want to think about his problems, let alone discuss them. He definitely did not want to discuss his issues with Rin. The annoying redhead would probably bug him until he finally told him what was wrong, then when he finally did he'd be teased for being a 'baby' or something.

  
"It's nothing.." Haru mutters to which Rin scoffs.

  
"You're a terrible liar Haru." He says and Haruka rolls his eyes. Rin wasn't any better than him.

  
"I don't want to talk about this, Rin." Haru mutters and tries to walk away so he could get to the seats by the windows and be able to draw in without any interruptions or annoyances, but Rin grabbed his arm so he couldn't go anywhere.

  
"That's too bad, I don't want to deal with you being grumpy, so spill. What's happening?" Rin asks looking Haru right in the eyes. Haru frowned and looked away with a small huff, he tried to pull his arm away but he couldn't get out of Rin's tight grip. Great. Now the only way he would get out of this is if he did talk to Rin about this...

  
"Come on, it's not a big deal so just talk to me." Rin says, a bit impatient. Haru looked away still and sighed.

  
"Makoto insisted that something happened to me that _didn't_ and now he's upset with me..." Haru says and Rin went quiet. When Haru looked at Rin he saw a look of irritation on the red head's face.

  
"Oh." Rin mutters and Haru blinks, unsure what caused Rin to get angry from this. As far as Haru knew, Rin didn't have an issue with Makoto, so he didn't know where the irritation came from.

  
"What?" Haru asked, getting frustrated with Rin's attitude when he asked him a question to begin with. Beggars can't be choosers, so Rin shouldn't be upset if he didn't like Haru's answer.

  
"Nothing, it's just that of course another one of your problems is about Makoto." Rin says letting go of Haru's wrist and crossing his arms.

  
"What's that supposed to mean?" Haru asks, narrowing his gaze at the redhead. He didn't go to Rin a lot about issues, so the fact that Rin was implying most of his problems were about Makoto was angering him. How the heck would he even know?!

  
"It means that your whole life is focused on Makoto! All you think about is him! It's so bad because you'd do _anything_ for him and you ignore the rest of the world because you're in you're stupid fucking 'la la Makoto land'!" Rin growls pointing to Haru's head. The raven haired teen glared at Rin, he knew that Rin knowing about his feelings for Makoto would bite him in the ass at some point. The red head just had to live up to those expectations.

  
"You asked me what was wrong!" Haru points out, irritated that his answer was what pissed Rin off.

  
"Yeah but I'm so tired of hearing you whine about Makoto! Other people have feelings too you know! It's not just about him!!" Rin says, venom in his words that took Haru aback a bit. This wasn't just one of Rin's random outbursts of anger... Something deeper was going on here and it changed Haru's anger to worry. There was an underlying meaning to his words, but Haru had no clue what the meaning was.

  
"Rin... I don't understand what you're trying to say.." Haru says causing Rin to growl and push Haru against the wall. Haru flinched and tried to squirm out of Rin's grip, not wanting to be cornered like this, especially while Rin was angry. This was getting too serious and Haru was starting to get nervous. He didn't want Rin to touch him, it felt like he was being burned wherever he was touched.

  
"I like you!" Rin yells and Haru freezes in place, eyes wide. Before Haru can even react Rin forcefully pressed his lips against his... And it was just wrong. Haru was in shock for a couple moments before he started trying to get out of the red head's grasp. This wasn't right. It wasn't Makoto. It felt wrong. He felt trapped. Rin's grip was tight on him, enough that Haru knew it would bruise his arms later. Haruka was starting to shake and kept trying to push Rin away. The longer the kiss went on, the more Haru felt like he was going to suffocate. He couldn't stand it. Tears pricked his eyes and he pushed Rin finally with enough force to get away. When he got Rin away he immediately slapped him out of pure instinct, anger coursing through him along with the panic and fear that resulted from being touched and feeling trapped. Rin knew he loved Makoto and didn't like to be touched yet he still did that. Haru felt betrayed.

  
Haru didn't notice that as he hit Rin, Sousuke entered the patient ward and saw it happen. All he noticed was the anger in Rin's eyes as he looked at Haru and then huffed. Rin then turned away and stormed off, Haru was thankful for that, he didn't want Rin anywhere near him right now. He felt like he could barely breath right now.

  
The raven haired teen was startled when he heard someone approaching, he was quick to turn towards whoever was walking towards him and saw an angry Sousuke. This was the last thing he needed right now... Haru backed away as Sousuke walked close to him, he didn't want another fight right now.

  
"The next time you cause an issue here, you're going to regret it." Sousuke growled before walking away. Haru frowned deeply and leaned against the wall, barely able to stand right now. He just wanted to cry. He let himself slide down to the floor and pulled his legs to his chest. Why did things have to get so complicated...?

  
Sousuke went back to the patient ward later that day to see Rin, he wouldn't lie, he was a bit worried about what happened earlier. He wasn't sure what happened with Haruka, but whatever it was looked bad. The teen was never good news though, so it wasn't that much of a surprise. He knew it was unprofessional, threatening Haru, but he was so annoyed with having to watch and attempt to fix all the issues the raven haired teen caused, and he was done with it. He never thought a person could cause so many problems, involving so many people, yet act like they're the victim, and be defended by every person they hurt. Makoto was a nice guy, so it was less surprising that he would forgive Haru for everything and still care for him, but Rin seemed too smart to make excuses for Haru and still care for the teen.

  
When Sousuke got to the patient ward he saw Haruka sitting down on the couch with a drawing pad. Sousuke groaned inwardly, he had hoped to just see Rin out here, but the redhead was no where in sight. Now this meant he would have to go to Haruka to ask where Rin was, so he wasn't walking around the patient ward like a fool, but talking to Haruka was something he really didn't want to do right now, especially considering the events earlier that day.

  
Sousuke debated just turning around and coming back here later, but he knew if he did he would be worried about Rin still, and he didn't want that nagging feeling to be ruining his afternoon. He walked up to Haruka, knowing it couldn't be avoided and cleared his throat.

  
"Nanase." He says flatly. Haruka looked up from his sketchbook, the same damn stoic expression on his face, before looking away with the tiniest huff that made Sousuke just want to wring his neck.

  
"Sousuke." He mutters. _Well, at least the hatred is mutual..._ Sousuke couldn't help but think to himself, before deciding to get straight to the point so he didn't have to deal with Haru much longer.

  
"Where's Rin?" Sousuke asked, hoping to get a quick answer from the raven haired teen so he didn't have to deal with any nonsense. Haruka continued to not look at Sousuke and instead down to his sketchbook, where he seemed to be drawing a familiar olive haired doctor. _Of course._ Sousuke couldn't help but look down on the fact Haruka had a crush on his older doctor, especially since this is what was bothering both Makoto and Rin as of lately.

  
"Rin's not here right now." Haru says, like this was a normality. Sousuke blinked and raised an eyebrow.

  
"What do you mean he's not here right now? He couldn't have left he had no way out and Makoto didn't say anything-" Sousuke starts only to be cut off by Haruka.

  
"No, I mean he's not _here_ right now." Haru says pointing to his head. Sousuke could only stare at Haru as he tried to figure out what the fuck he meant by that. Haru seemed to realize his words were lost in translation and sighed, putting down his pencil and finally turning to face Sousuke.

  
"The person in Rin's mind isn't Rin right now." Haru says, face still expressionless as he watched Sousuke piece it together. Rin had multiple personalities, and Makoto did mention before that stress did cause Rin to switch, so what happened with Haruka earlier must have been enough to cause him to change personalities. The thought only caused Sousuke to worry more about the red head and he looked away from Haruka.

  
"Where is he?" He asked, tone demanding an answer to which Haruka seemed hesitant to give, this annoyed Sousuke even more.

  
"You don't want to see him right now..." The raven haired teen mumbled and Sousuke grumbled.

  
"You have no fucking clue as to what I want and don't want! Now tell me where he is!" He snaps, this was already taking a lot longer than he would've liked. Haruka flinched at the outburst and sighed.

  
"He's in his room, but really... You shouldn't see him when he's-" Haru starts to say but Sousuke completely ignores as he walks straight to Rin's room. He didn't need any warnings, he was sure he could handle anything Rin threw at him.

  
Sousuke got to Rin's door and paused, should he knock or just enter? He made a small sigh and decided to knock, just so he didn't piss Rin off when he went inside. After he gave a couple knocks and waited to no avail, Sousuke decided to enter. He knew that barging into the room was a bit illogical, but at the same time, wanting to bone a mental patient was illogical too so at least he was being consistent. Anyways, he _did_ knock first so Rin couldn't be too pissed at him. Almost immediately after he got into the room and closed the door he was pinned to the closest surface by the redhead he was looking to check up on. Rin's hair seemed a bit disheveled and his eyes were darker with an emotion Sousuke had never seen in it, somehow, he looked even more attractive like this.

  
"I've been hoping to see you~" Rin says, almost in a sing song voice. Sousuke was surprised with Rin's attitude and the fact he was basically pounced on right when he entered the room. Also, the fact that Rin wanted to see him came as a shock. The red head usually acted like he hated Sousuke. That's when he once again was reminded of the changed personality and well.... Whatever this one was, so far, Sousuke had no complaints about.

  
"Oh, have you?" Sousuke asks, deciding to play along with this flirtatious encounter.

  
"Mhm~ And I also made a decision on your offer~" Rin hums, now wearing a toothy grin. Sousuke realized Rin was talking about the offer he made when Haruka got hurt, the offer to help Rin get over Haru... Where sex was basically implied. Sousuke had meant it as a joke, mainly, and didn't expect Rin to think it through, but once again this new personality was surprising him.

  
"And what is it?" Sousuke asks, both curious and hopeful. He knew he was acting desperate lately but he wanted to be done with his attraction for the redhead, and after one or two times he would probably be bored of him.

  
"I decided to take you up on it." Rin says confidently and Sousuke couldn't help but feel a bit more satisfied, yet at the same time, he knew he shouldn't take advantage of Rin... He should at least be positive that Rin wanted this.

  
"Are you sure? I mean... With everything that happened with Nanase, you may be confused..." Sousuke trailed off and looked at Rin to see him back up a bit, letting Sousuke have his space, before crossing his arms.

  
"Fuck Haru. I don't want to even think about him. I want to do this." Rin huffs and looks at Sousuke, his expression almost challenging, but Sousuke knew he wouldn't give anymore fight for this. He locked the door before walking up to Rin and pulling him into a kiss. He knew it was wrong, but it sure as hell felt right.

 

  
Once calmed down, Haru went back to his room in hopes of gaining some rest. He got changed into a sweater and shorts before climbing into bed and pulling the covers over himself. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to fall asleep quickly, usually it took him a while for him to fall asleep, which is why Makoto would come talk to him... It made him comfortable enough to sleep faster. But of course that wouldn't be happening right now.

  
Haruka closed his eyes and shifted a bit in bed, he hated the fact that he couldn't sleep like any other person. He didn't want to think about the problems of the day, he wanted to just curl up in the comfort of his bed and reach the sweet solace of sleep. Haruka didn't even understand why he had such a difficult time sleeping. Makoto thought it was because of some trauma that happened in his past, but Haru wasn't too convinced. He personally believed it had something to do with the medicine he was forced to take. He never felt like it did anything positive for him. It only gave him the inability to sleep.

  
Haru tossed in his bed a bit, he knew that he should clear his mind so he would fall asleep faster, but in the quiet of the night, thoughts couldn't help but swirl around in the messed up mind of Haruka. By the time sleep washed over him, an hour had passed and he was a tangled mess in his sheets.

  
_He dreamed of his past in his old house... He never really remembered what it looked like, but in his dream it was in perfect detail. It was a smaller house, painted white with a well tended garden in front, and though old, the house was in good condition and rarely needed anything repaired. The yard wasn't large enough to play in, but there was a park not too far from the house. Haru went to that park a lot, especially since right near it was the community pool that he oh so loved to visit._

  
_In his dream, Haru was just a small boy, laying on his bed with a sketchpad in front of himself as he was drawing. His room was small, but fairly neat, an average room for a young boy, painted blue with some books and toys laid around it. Haru's window was open slightly to let some of the cool night's breeze flow through his room, he felt comforted by it and he enjoyed the silence of the night, and everytime he looked out the window he would be met with the comfort of the stars shining brightly back at him._

  
_Haru had kept drawing in peace, he was drawing a couple dolphins swimming together, it wasn't unusual for him to draw ocean life, especially since he enjoyed both drawing and the water. He continued to draw, actually getting a bit tired late at night, that was until he heard a loud bang downstairs, which made him jump in shock, followed along with the terrified scream of his mother, and angry yelling from his father. The noises coming from downstairs were loud, Haru didn't like it at all. He could hear two other people but couldn't make out anything they were saying, nor what his parents were saying. The noises were too loud to make out anything really. Haru felt his stomach drop and his breathing became more rapid as his child mind tried to figure out what was going on... He didn't know who the other voices were and why they were here, not to mention why his parents seemed so upset by them. He had a bad feeling about all of this though, and he was terrified. He usually never got upset or scared by anything... But right now the unknown was a lot scarier than he imagined._

  
_When things became quiet, Haru got more nervous. He didn't know what just happened downstairs... Did his parents get hurt? Did the people who came in leave? A million questions and worries ran through Haru's head as he sat on his bed nervously. It was quiet for hours it seemed, though in reality it was only minutes, but when Haruka heard someone coming upstairs his heart jumped in his throat. If it was his parents, they would've said something as they approached, but all Haru heard were the footsteps. Haru got up shakily from his bed, trying to think of what he could do. He didn't think the strangers in the house were friendly, something was off and he felt like he needed to run. He didn't know how to get out though, he couldn't leave through the window since he was on the second floor and if he left from his room he'd surely run into whoever was coming upstairs. His only choice was to just keep the stranger out of the room. Haru quickly went to the door and locked it, almost right in time for the doorknob to start jiggling as the person outside it was trying to get in._

  
_"Shit..." Haru heard the stranger say on the other side of the door. Haru just backed up, away from the door, legs trembling as he tried to figure out what he should be doing next. Haru went to the window, thinking maybe he could call for help, it wasn't too late, so his neighbors should be up and hopefully be able to hear him. Before he could even get a word out though, there was a loud bang on the door, and the sound of wood breaking could be heard. Haru froze and looked over nervously to see a knife through the door. It was pulled out only to be stabbed through the door again. The stranger was trying to get in still. Haru looked around the room, terrified seeing the knife and unsure as to the next action he should take. He knew if he hid under the bed he would be found... But maybe he could hide in his closet... and make it look like he jumped out the window._

  
_Haru was quick to work with this plan, opening the window all the way and trying his best to make it look like that's how he left the house. After he went into the closet and locked it, trying to hide as best as he could in his clothes and toys. He hoped this way the strangers would leave his house looking for him and he could go downstairs and see his parents. The banging on the door continued, Haru felt like his heart pounded each time he heard the loud noise, that was until he heard the door finally open....That's when he felt like his heart stopped. He tried his best to stay quiet with his breathing and not move at all, he could hear one of the strangers enter the room and curse again._

  
_"Fuck, the kid left the house!" He said, Haru was thankful his trick worked, that was until the second stranger entered the room._

  
_"It could be a trick... You look outside, I'll look around in here." The second stranger said. Haru felt his heart drop and tears run down his face. He wanted this to be fake... He really hoped it was. He wanted to wake up in his bed with everything okay, but no matter how much he wished for it he couldn't wake up from this nightmare. As it turned out, his life was a nightmare right now. Haru heard one stranger leave the room, the other stayed and Haru could hear their footsteps walk around the floor._

  
_"Kid, if you come out now we'll make this as painless as possible for you." The stranger said and Haru took in a shaky breath. It was a lie. They were already hurting him by making him this terrified. When footsteps reached the door of the closet, Haru had to hold his breath to not make a noise. He heard the door knob move, but since it was locked the door couldn't open. Haru knew that his plan was now ruined._

  
_"Aha... Gotcha." The stranger said, and a moment later a loud bang was heard as the stranger hit the door like he did before. Haru let out a yelp as he heard it, and curled up shaking. They now knew where he was and there was no way for him to escape..._

  
_"I found him!" The stranger called out, still banging on the door. Haru could hear the voice of the other stranger calling back, but couldn't understand what he was saying. His focus was on the sound of the door and the inevitability of being taken by these strangers. He didn't understand why his family was being hurt like this, why did they have to come here?? A hand poked in through the new hole in the closet door and opened it, letting the light of Haru's room shine in on the closet. All Haru could do was cry. Toys were pushed out of the way until he was revealed, face to face with the stranger. His face was covered with a mask... But his eyes were visible. Haru could see them clearly, dark, almost black... It terrified him even more._

  
_"Come here you little shit." The stranger growls, grabbing Haruka by his hair and pulling him out of the closet as the small boy just cried in pain and fear. Haru tried to pull away, but couldn't, when he tried he was just pulled harder by the stranger. As he was pulled down the stairs he heard his mother crying and begging, the sound of it made Haru more nervous as he let out a small sob. He saw his parents on the floor, their legs were tied and their arms were tied behind their back. Tears stained his mother's face and his father was just staring at the floor. When she saw Haru she cried more._

  
_"P-Please no... Don't hurt him." She cried, Haru's father seemed to tense more and looked at Haru, he took in a shaky breath and Haru could see he was trying to keep it together. Haru couldn't stand seeing his parents like this, they were always so strong... And now because of these strangers they were being broken down._

  
_Haru was thrown down on the floor, he made a small yelp and tried to move away from him, before he could though, the second stranger grabbed him and started to tie a rope around his wrists. Haru winced as it was tied tight, and he looked to his parents, not knowing what to do. After he was tied up the strangers took out bags, Haru watched closely, unsure as to what they were doing. It all made him nervous._

  
_"Let's fill our bags so we can get this over with." The stranger who found Haruka said. The other nodded and the two both started to take precious items from the Nanase home. Haru frowned watching them take things like gifts and precious items, he looked to his mother nervously._

  
_"M-Mom... What's happening..." He mumbled, looking at his crying mother. She chewed her lip and shook her head._

  
_"D-Don't worry about it sweetheart.. I-It'll all be okay.." She said, her voice shaky and she seemed to be trying to hold back more tears. Haru tried to scoot closer to his mother and father._

  
_"I-I'm scared..." He whined, his father looked over with a sad expression._

  
_"Haruka... We need you to be brave okay. Whatever happens... You need to be our brave little boy..." Haruka's father said. Haru sniffled but made a small nod. The two strangers went upstairs and Haruka's mother seemed to perk up more._

  
_"Haruka, move close to me..." She says a bit rushed. Haru blinks but did as told, he didn't know what she wanted to do but he trusted his mother. When he moved over his mother turned her back to him and tried to use her hands to untie Haruka. Haru blinked and looked at her mother, she had a determined look on her face, and when his father looked over he seemed to perk up and he took in a small breath._

  
_"Haru... When you get untied run and find help..." His father said gently. Haru's eyes widened and he looked at his parents._

  
_"W-What about you two..." He mumbles nervously. He didn't want to leave his parents behind._

  
_"We'll be okay sweetheart.. We just want you safe... If you get help we'll be fine." Haru's mother whispered softly, a kind expression on her face. She got Haru's hands untied and Haru untied his ankles nervously. He was scared to be on his own right now... He didn't want the strangers to hurt him or his parents! Haru got up and went to leave when the strangers came downstairs. He froze in place as they saw him, he looked to his parents with wide eyes, he felt like his legs were made of lead. He was terrified... And his parents seemed equally terrified._

  
_"Run Haru!" His mother screamed. Haru tensed but went to do as told, it was his only chance to save his parents. As he started to run the strangers went over to his parents._

  
_"You bitch." One stranger says and Haru turns right in time to see to see one stranger grab his mother by her hair. He felt like he was going to throw up when he saw the stranger pull a knife.. And before he knew it the blade had been sliced across her throat and blood sprayed everywhere, even on him. Haru heard his father yell, but all he was paying attention to was the blood that was on his hands right now. He felt himself shaking._

  
_"Ah shut up old man." The stranger growled and stabbed Haruka's father right between his eyes. His body went limp and fell over immediately. Haru backed up slowly, still shaking, the fact that his parents were killed right in front of his eyes wasn't sinking in. There was... So much blood... It was everywhere, sticking to him and the floor of the house that held his family's happy memories for years... Haru wanted it gone. He wanted his peaceful night with his parents back! Why did this have to happen to his family?! Why did these evil people have to go to them?! What did they ever do?!_

  
_Haru couldn't stand seeing his parents dead and limp on the floor... and he wanted to be as far away from the strangers as possible... So he ran. He ran as far as he could. He could hear the strangers following him, so he tried to run faster to get away, but it felt like his small legs weren't getting him away fast enough. His breathing was ragged, but he knew he had to keep going. It was what mom and dad would want... They wanted him to keep running until he was safe... They wanted him to live no matter what, even as a small boy Haru understood this. He needed to try and stay alive for them... If he died then their family memories would be lost, and he didn't want him and his family to disappear from existence. If they did then that would mean no one would remember what great people his parents were... Or know what terrible people these strangers were... Haru wanted them to be taken far away. He couldn't stand being in a world with them._

  
_Haru heard the strangers following him still, and he wondered why they had to get him so badly... Why couldn't he be free...? He turned into an alleyway, hoping he could lose them here by hiding and making them think he kept running, but before he could get too far he tripped on trash that was in the alley way. He went to get up and winced in pain, he didn't want to look and see how badly he hurt his knees right now. He knew he needed to get up and run... That was until he heard footsteps and turned off of his stomach to see the strangers. He took in a shaky breath and tried to scoot back, away from them... He could feel more tears fall down his cheeks. He didn't want to die..._

_The stranger who killed his parents grabbed his arm tightly, making Haru cry out in pain as he tried to move away. He was thrown against the wall hard and felt his head hit the bricks. He slumped against the ground a bit dazed, it was enough for the stranger to pin him to the ground. Haru looked up at the person and tensed as he felt a hand traveling up his stomach, he didn't know what to do, he couldn't move._

  
_"You're going to pay for being such a pain in the ass." The stranger said in a dark voice. Haru didn't know what he meant but the stranger kept touching him, and it felt like it burned. Haru stared up in the sky, looking at the stars wondering why anyone would hurt someone like this. Haru felt violated in the ways he was touched, the stranger didn't stop there... He also started cutting him, laughing about it. The two strangers seemed to talk about something as the one touched Haru, but he couldn't hear it. Haru was just trying to let his mind travel to a happy place where his family was still alive and they were happy, but he was snapped out of his thoughts when the sound of a zipper was heard. The stranger had unzipped his pants and Haru felt like it was a blink of an eye before it had been shoved into his mouth and down his throat. It burned, and Haru was being choked. He couldn't breath, and the stranger was making weird noises above him. He could feel a hand grope his rear, fingers started to intrude him and the pain he started to feel down there made him scream. Tears flowed down Haru's cheeks as the pain in his throat was excrutiating. The stranger didn't seem to care, still moving in and out of him. Haru knew if this continued he was going to die... So he did the only thing he could do right now and bit the unwelcome member in his mouth._

  
_The stranger let out a yell in pain and moved away quick, though in his hand he still had the knife and slashed Haru's throat. Haru coughed and tried to breath... Luckily his throat wasn't cut as deep as his mother's. Despite the pain he ran as far as he could, sobbing as he did so. He didn't hear them following him this time... When his legs gave out on the side of the street he curled up as tight as he could, shaking like a leaf. He wanted to forget. He never wanted to remember this. He wanted to wake up in the life he had yesterday... He didn't want this to be real! He closed his eyes tight, all the events that took place that night playing through his eyes over and over again. His mom being killed... His dad after... Their limp bodies... What the stranger did to him... The pain he felt right now... It was all too much. Haru felt dizzy and was quick to pass out._

  
_When he woke up... He woke in a hospital room. His throat and other injuries were bandaged up. He could only feel pain at first, and when he looked to his bedside he saw two men in white coats. One rushed over to his bedside quickly, asking all sorts of worried questions... All Haru could focus on.... Was his bright green eyes...._

 

Haru woke up with a scream and he held his throat. His eyes widened as he realized... That wasn't a dream...

  
Said olive haired doctor rushed into the room and looked at Haru, worry on his face. The raven haired teen looked up to Makoto, tears falling down his face and onto his bed as the memories of his parents and the strangers were fresh in his mind.

  
"...Y-You were right..." He whispers the words both dreaded to hear.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I wrote in Sousuke's perspective... I feel like I butchered it XD


End file.
